leaf of gengkie

feelin frusty

2012-02-09T09:01:00.000-08:00

its one of those nights. some emo moment taking over me that makes me quietly dramatic. i just finished writing this scene in one of our drama scripts. how do i lead their lovemaking more potent and unforgettable in a masa but hitting kind of way. and then im finished but still it is clinging on to my sleeve. perhaps i was kilig and convinced. and then i remembered the song from the lakehouse movie sung by paul mcartney aptly titled this never happened before. that song bites me in a misty watered memory. i want something to happen that never happened before. whatever it is it will be sweet and painful. some comfort. some peace that somewhere things will find its way even if its not the way it should be. ah serendipity. don't be too elusive.

for now, i find comfort in my dirty sofa, sloughing off some dead skin cells and whiteheads off my darn skin. looking past the cockroach and just thinking of having my hair curled and my next meet with the tennis balls. at peace with my strangeness and i guess this stranger in the night that keeps me up, let's call him frustration. frustrated and inspiration.

Current Favorites

2012-02-05T20:07:00.000-08:00

Allow me to share what i'm feeling about certain material and immaterial stuff that i swear by currently. Hehe.

TURQUOISE FLOWER EARRINGS

This is my current favorite pair that sometimes i don't wear but just love looking at. Bought this at Forever 21. The only piece i bought there while i resist the urge to launch another bahala na spree. Minsan lang kasi ako sa Forever 21, as in once three months ata bilang taga QC ako. And i love flowers but not toooo much flowers. Basta.

BODYSHOP'S OLIVE OIL DRY MIST

This i bought last year upon the pag-uudyok of a saleslady. I'm not a lotion person because i always forget to apply except of course when i really have to like in the beach for sunscreen. This is an oil based skin moisturiser. A spray on so very handy and absorbs fast by the skin without the feel of being oiled up like lechon. And the scent is clean, light and liberating... chos! Plus it's olive oil. Healthy! I am really liking this buti na lang sale siya noong binili ko. I'm thinking--can you use the olive oil used for cooking to your skin?

This is MAC's Sweetie and Brave Lipstick. O di ba parang ako lang Recently ko lang na discover ang Mac lipsticks at magandapala siyamedyo mahal nga lang dahil 1K ang isa. Ito ang safe choices ko for lipsticks, pang everyday wear though di naman ako masyado naglilip-stook. Pag suot ko ang SWEETIE feeling ko isa akong promising star na undiscovered. Pag yung BRAVE naman feeling mysterious ang aura ko na earthy effect. Meron akong Pink Noveau na pag feel na feel ko talagang ipangalandakang babae ako, at yung Ruby Woo kung gusto ko lang magmukhang vampirella.

TWININGS GREEN TEA AND LEMON. Another current favorite especially on hot water mixed with raw honey. Ay sarap. Calms the senses and keeps me awake during labada days. Hindi addicting like coffee at sabi nila nakakapayat daw ito. Though medyo may kamahalan ang isang box nito ha. 200pesos nato.

This is a water bottle i bought sa Korea last year. Ang cute niya kasi at kasya sa bag ko. Mukha pang masaya dahil sa mga hearts na iba't ibang kulay.

This one ay walang kinalaman sa ka-artehan ko.. well medyo. I took this nung thanksgiving party namin sa Ikaw lang ang Mamahalin. This is the ceiling of the resaturant in Tony's grill. I just like taking shots of what's up there and you see how beautiful it is when you look up. This one is with Moroccan lamps and colorful cloth draping skewered from end to end. Colorful, grand and dramatic.

Feb Random Rant

2012-02-01T22:07:00.000-08:00

my Gosh, pebrero na pala. anong ginawa ko nung huling buwan? ok naman pero medyo wala lang. twice nako nakapag-tennis pero hindi pa rin ako nakakapag-jogging. in fairness, nakapanood ako ng dalawang sosyal na play for free care of my print media friend, yun nga lang english, lam niyo naman may bias talaga ako sa filipino plays.

Hanggang ngayon wala pa rin akong matinong drivers licence. Ang Ipad ko bigla na lang nagpatiwakal ng walang suicide note. At leche dumami pa ang tagyawat ko simula nang gumamit ako ng mga bwisit na freebie stuf na pinapahid sa mukha na mula pa sa Korea. Ngayon mukhang pahina ng connect the dots ang fez ko. Tapos malalaman mo sa news na may malaking discount si Corona sa megaworld condo niya. Buti na lang cute ang mga anak ko, nakakabawas ng kunot sa ulo.

at isa pang news flash--- ang cellphone ko jowa ata ang Ipad ko, sumama na rin sa kabilang buhay. bigla na lang namatay ng natural causes. Ngayon may substitute akong querty phone na hindi ko masakyan dahil parang maliit na laptop--the last thing i need is an image of a laptop because napre-pressure ako sa mga kailangan kong gawin at tapusin pa. Buti na lang sadyang napaka-palad kong minion ng headwriter namin, matagal ang deadline. buti na lang talaga.. Mabait pa rin ang Chinese zodiac sa akin. Iniisiip ko dahil ba 'to malas ang year of the dog sa year of the dragon? o dahil hindi na ako beautiful? Ay ayoko yung huli, erase-erase-erase with matching Maricel Soriano moves. bwahaha.

Ngayon masakit ang ulo ko, nanlalata ako, di nako makakapunta ng isang meeting ngayon (dahil may sulat pa at di ko na keri) Hindi ako makapag-umpisang magsulat ng script (at inuna ko pang mag-blog, di ba?). Diyos ko, hirap na hirap ako sulatin siya at ang bagal ko. Ang dami kong lull moments pero dere-derecho naman kapag feel na feel ang mga eksena-- lumalabas ang inner theatrics ko, may sarili akong drama-rama sa utak na ako artista, direktor, taga-ilaw pati gaffer. Mahirap pero gustong gusto ko.. parang life lang di ba? o baka naman malapit na akong reglahin? o baka di pa kasi ako naliligo simula kahapon? or pwedeng both?

PS. On a good note: mag-uumpisa na ang Game of Throne sa April sa HBO.
On a bad note:Wala kaming cable, ni wala rin kaming antenna- ganda di ba?
LED nga ang TV wala namang antenna at cable.
Hay life--you are so amazing and so full of things that you always keep me on my toes-- pero pwede rest muna saglit lang.

PS 2-- did i just type all these in 5 minutes?

Stuff i put in my mouth

2012-01-26T00:32:00.000-08:00

Siyempre pagkain but wait there's more--- these are some stuff i really like and recently have discovered. It may not be liked by all but heck i just love it.

Wingman's Lemon and Pepper flavored wings.

My foodie friend and his friend took me to this side of Makati where i dare not go bilang all time QC girl ako. Lo at buti na lang gutom kami so the one flanked by many was Wingman. Madaming flavors doon (garlic parmesan, buffalo etc.) pero ito ang pinaka-patok sa akin, the Lemon Pepper variety. Masarap, tangy at nakaka-ngasim na swak sa white sauce keme na yun. Tapos may carrot slices pa na masabi lang na kahit papano healthy pa rin kasi naman magugulat ka na lang matapos ng ilang chika nakadalawang dosena ka na pala ng pakpak ng manok. Boom. Ayun sira ang diet. But anyways, di naman ako nagdidiet. Wingman is located in the Malugay area of Makati just outside the artsy hub--The Collective. Para siyang Cubao X sa Makati. Oh and I love MOJITOS!! i dream of sipping this in actual Cuba (Cuba in heat..oooh) with Che Guevara--charla ng bonggaaa!! Tapos sasakay kami ng motorsiklo niya-- gatungan pa ang ka-charlahan!!
Oh i forgot the price. shet.

And my all time fave... salmon sashimi!!

Wala akong made-describe dito dahil malamang nakatikim na rin ang ilan. This is my comfort food.

Mahilig ako kumain pero hindi ako mahilig lumamon, iyon ang sabi ng friend ni P na observation niya sa akin. At recently pinaalala din ng isang fashionista friend ko na sinabi ko daw na wala daw akong pakialam sa pananamit basta masarap ang kinakain ko araw araw--hahaha! I can't even remember i said that! Siguro sobrang gutom ako noon!

Lumaki kasi ako sa masarap na pagkain-- moodrah and poodrah always made sure to give a little extra in terms of the food we eat and they cook well. Ang daing na bangus ni moodrah ay ibinababad pa sa native na suka from Ilocos at native na bawang para mas distinct ang flavor. Ang pandesal ay dinadayo pa noon ng tatay ko sa may Kamuning Bakery na pinaka-lumang bakery sa QC pero ubod pa rin ng sarap. Ang mga side dishes ay metikuloso-- at hindi ito American side dish na mga corn and carrots ha-- mga pako at lato salad na sourced from wherever na alam ni poodrah na the best. Kaya siguro nasanay ako sa masarap na pagkain. Hindi naman ako ganoon kagaling magluto pero i know how to cook and i know some of the ingredients when i taste one, sometimes even when i smell it. Medyo kay katamaran lang ako magluto. I adore cookbooks of all kinds lalo na yung hindi snobbish na cookbooks. Yung alam mong may mapagkukuhanan ka naman ng ingredients dito. At inferness, nag invest na ako sa matinong cookware. But then what is the point of all these? I guess i'm just gearing up for something new in the gustatory section of my life. Hindi ako magiging chef but magiging feelingera lang ako... yun na.

Kiss

2012-01-17T22:56:00.000-08:00

Nanaginip ako kanina. May kahalikan ako pero di ko kilala kung sino. Ang sarap ng halik niya. Habang tulog ba ako, ano kayang hitsura ko habang nanaginip ako ng ganun? Naka protrude ba ang nguso ko? Wag naman sana--ang chaka eh.

Bigla kong na miss makipaghalikan. Yung passionate. Yung sweet. Yung magkalakip ang inyong mga katawan sa isa't isa. Yung ramdam mo ang bugso ng dibdib niya. Yung hawak mo ang mukha niya't buhok habang naglalapat ang inyong mga labi at saliva sa isa't isa. Yung rumaragasa ang damdamin mo. Yung pagkatapos ay humahangos ka sa hininga't parang maiiyak ka na walang luha... Sarap lang nun. A kiss that will devour your whole being and there's no other way but to surrender.

But i don't want that kiss to lead to sex.. ibang universe na ang sex sa kissing. Minsan sa sex nawawala ang magic and spontaneity of it all. Organs sa organs na ang labanan sa sex while as sa kissing... It's magic and magnets at work and some bacteria. Well just me saying and i guess i am longing for that perfect magical and magnetic kiss to seal and heal myself of wounds i myself incurred. Or pwede ding i want germs to catch pneumonia sabi nga ni burt bacharach. Whatever.

Looky here!

2012-01-16T06:45:00.000-08:00

I got something in the mail today. May nagpapadala pa ba ng sulat sa inyo? Eh Christmas card?

Medyo laos na ang snail mail with the advent of twitter, email and facebook, pero ang sarap ng feeling na makatanggap ng christmas card lalo na yung may heartfelt pang message at extra chika tungkol sa buhay niya. Makita ko nga lang na may hand writing parang nakaka-warm and fuzzy ng feeling. yes, i am that corny about things but heck i feel it.

Eto christmas card na pinadala ng village namin.. sad lang kasi sa loob wala man lang handwriting or pirma. Generated card--- pero happy pa rin na nagpadala pa rin sila ng Christmas card. Yung bossing namin nagpadala ng christmas card sa amin, ang ganda ng hand writing niya at kilala niya pala ako... hehe. At letter G at hindi J ang start ng pangalan ko. Kakainis lang kapag yung Geng naging Jeng lalo na pag ginawang Jheng. Nakakasosyal kasi ang G. G lang. hahaha.

2011: Lagalag year

2012-01-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

I had a lot of things to be greatful for the last year. It was my travel year since it was the first time i actually used my paasport. Ako kasi lakwatsera talaga ako... literally and metaphorically (meh ganun?!) And as long as i can remember i was always out, on the prowl, within the radar for something new or old and take my feet to it. That's why the love for travel. I think everybody does. Sabi nila pag may asawa't anak ka na, hindi mo na daw magagawa ang mga bagay na gustong gusto mo gawin---not!

Well, mahirap maglakwatsa pag mudra ka na... its not really a top priority and hindi madali gawin with everything else but you can't just linger on that thought na mahirap--- Eh di paghirapan. ano pa't ipinanganak ka dito sa Pinas di ba? There is always a way and it's so weird that i get to do it now in a moment of my life where i'm supposed to be not doing it. I am a late travel bloomer of the world. Hindi ko nagawang itodo ang paglalakwatsa noong dalaga ako because i was too pre-occupied with somethinge else (like shopping? bwahahaha) but now that i have enough means, why wouldn't do it? So i made a mental note to myself that once i renewed my passport there's no stopping now.

1. HongKong with the kids was a blast. Nippy cold air plus Mickey Mouse and all that progressiveness in a city that was deprived of someone like me who grew up in a third world country. and also, IKEA! The stay was quite easy because of my friend Baleleng who was so sweet to lend us her time and HK info. January of 2011 pa lang ay nagwaldas na kami sa lakwatsa but it was worth it.

2. Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam had this vibe close to my senses. Very organic and humble, it has this down trodden feel but not out. It's not as cosmopolitan as HK but it has its own character and i like it. I feel like some parts of my soul is somewhere perched here because probably it seems like Manila with a vintage feel. I wanna come back and discover more. I had a taste but it felt like being given just one M&M and you know you haven't had it unless you had a couple more...

3. Seoul, South Korea for me was cold (literally) and distant. A friend asked me if i could live here and i said i would rather not. It's too modern for me. Or probably i haven't seen enough of its soul since 3 days there can be so short a time. or maybe because we spent so much time on shopping? hehe. But i enjoyed it and i can safely claim that once in my life i've been drunk on another country (not because of you San Mig) and was happily strolling and laughing in my winter outfit. The people are charming too. I love the food and of course the people i was with-- that would make a great travel also, your companions. It's one of the best lakwatsa i've had.

4. And of course a lagalag year wouldn't be without beach trips. And we had three all in all! Surfing in La union on a stormy weather. Lounging around the calm beach of Calatagan and of course, the always reliable Boracay. I love taking the kids to the beach. Nag-enjoy sila at the most sa Calatagan kasi friendly at kalmado ang beach. And the place we stayed had a nice pool too.

Medyo na trauma lang sila sa crashing waves ng La Union because it was full blast surfing waves on a signal number 2 kaya ayun ayaw lumapit sa tubig sa Boracay. Honestly di pa ako nakakapag-surf because of a series of unfortunate events. But i will do that! Hopefully this 2012.

Boracay was windy and sunny and then one time rainy when we went there. They just enjoyed the sand and was kinda afraid to go into its pristine waters. Maganda pa rin ang Boracay talaga. Ang sarap mag lounge around.

I'm thinking of taking them to a waterfalls naman or some ilog or batis in some province. Gusto ko ulit maligo sa ilog gaya noong kabataan ko. At siyempre maganda ring ma experience nila yun--- maiba lang and i think it's more exciting but of course beach trips are always welcome.

Hagard mag travel with the kids but its ok because they are shaping memories of their childhood. And as any parent, you would always want to have that--- that moment when they grow up they would look back and see how happy life was for them. Up to now even as an adult i still am shaping memories with travels here and abroad and experiences that come with it, no matter how cheap and expensive they may be. So i am counting my blessings and how thankful i am for all these. Naka-todo ako last year and i'm looking forward to more travels this year-- it renews the spirit, gives you a sense of how great life is, brings you home with a smile on your face and leaves you that lasting memory. Sabi nga ng isa kong friend: Travelling is something you pay where you get rich. Indeed.

Pinoy exodus to the Cinemas

2011-12-26T23:44:00.000-08:00

Kahapon, Dec 26, nanood kami ng sine sa Trinoma--- ay jusko, buong Quezon City ata nandoon sa dami ng tao! In fairness, happy na rin na maka-witness ng ganun dahil kahit papano may nagbabayad pa rin para manood ng sine. Ang tanong--sulit ba ang bayad nila?! Ang hirap lang kasi na sabihin na tangkilikin ang pelikulang Pilipino kung di naman worth na katangki-kilik di ba?! Gawa muna kayo ng maganda at maayos para naman walang daya sa bulsa. Because after all times are hard and that bulsa is still ours to keep.

Heniways, ito na nga, sa haba ng pila sa takilyera na-late kami ni R ng 15 minutes sa pelikulang Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow. Ito talaga ang una sa listahan kong papanoorin, kasi di naman ako mahilig mga Panday-Enteng films na yan. And apart from that medyo may 1% involvement ako sa pelikulang ito bilang naging source din siya ng raket sa akin (salamat kuya jun).

Shucks di ko naumpisahan pero keri naman kasi nabasa ko naman ng buo yung script so somehow may idea na ako sa nawalang 15 minutes na visuals. Ito lang ang mga highs and lows ko:

Dahil mas arresting kapag naka-bullet points siya.

FILM LOWS (muna)
1. Maricel Soriano- I expected a lot from her but sadly it fell short. Marya is marya but she lost something... that truth and empathy that Lovi Poe kept me crying all through out. Yes, she acts and she acts like a real drama star but other than that i feel nothing... i don't even understand her, of course i do know why she cries but i don't feel it at all. Plus she does this in your face drama that seems to put a plaster in her head that I'm good at doing this! Just look! Whatever happened to her since that Inang Yaya film? or even that kabit Love Story of Starcinema. Probably she was too focused on being a drama star or was she lutang? or maybe the all too glossy and wavy hair style?

2. Jericho Rosales-- anyareh?! He used to be this very sensitive actor similar to John Lloyd's acting as i've seen back in Santa Santita. But now, bakit parang overly sensitive na siya? Nawe-werdohan ako sa acting niya. He made me kunot ulo when he cried like some ewan (with matching head turn) upon seeing his dead baby. Tapos may twang na parang Sam Milby? Sometime chanelling Gary V (on the eulogy scene) Baka masyado niyang pinag-aralan ang character niya't di na siya naka-relate? Or baka gusto niya manalo ng award? pero teh, award ka sa akin ng bongga!
3. Gabby Concepcion-- ay nandito pala siya sa movie. Akala ko statue lang. O gumagalaw na bato with chiseled jaw line.

FILM HIGHS:
1. Earthquake scenes- convincing ang earthquake scene. I like how people are trampled upon in full panic, how the walls break apart, how this girl got killed and how things are supposed to be in a devastating earthquake scenario-- yes it is ugly but it was beautifully shot and mounted.

2. Solenn Heusaff-- hmmm... au naturel. Very fresh. Noteworthy. Not much effort pero you know her presence is there. Her lines are thrown with some bite and kick to it and not as trying hard or lazy (which i so hate!-lazy acting) or spaced out or worse, cringe-worthy as some newbie celebrities are who suddenly became an actress overnight. What a surprise really for Solenn! Though i know kasi na hirap talaga siya to cry or shed out a tear. If she really learns this then she's good to go.

3. Lovi Poe crying-- now this girl has got some real chops. It also helps that her character here has a heavy baggage to carry. Sumasakit din ang dibdib ko pag-sumasakit ang dibdib niya sa heartbreak na naranasan niya dito sa asawa niya't sa sarili niya mismo. She has this subtle magic to emit silent and heavy pain beyond the celluloid right smack on my seat and i guess on everbody else seated in the movie house.
Now that is truth and empathy. Ugh. Or maybe i'm a mother? Whatever, she's good.

4. Characters-- i like how all of them have secrets which of course keeps the story flowing. Though some are not fleshed out because of a number of characters but secrets keep them going like normal people do. I guess this would do if it's on a lengthy soap opera.

The movie entertains so it's a bang for your buck. And the highs outweigh the lows somehow. It tugs at your heart then leaves you and tugs you again. The ending isn't so contrived as some of the scenes are. Actually, it doesn't end like a typical moving drama where everythings is happy, resolved and not bitter. We know stories don't end just like that especially when our lives and feelings are toyed upon and where secrets hidden become out in the open.

In fairness, di mo naman mararamdaman na niloko ka ng pelikulang ito't sinayang ang ilang oras ng buhay mo na sana't naglaba ka na lang sa bahay. Ano kayang next na mapanood? I heard that Shake Rattle is good especially the last installment.

this holiday musing

2011-12-14T10:38:00.000-08:00

I think it's 10 days til Christmas. I'm not feeling it yet. Probably because i haven't attended any Christmas party yet. (well, i did attend this 1 reunion party event but i can't count it as a christmas keme you know) Yeah, i know, napakababaw na rason for feeling the christmas spirit. It's just now that i bought extra lights for the added feel. Sometimes this holiday feeling can be so binding and a bit empty. There's this feeling that you want to feel something but you just can't seem to feel it in your bones... Anyways, I live on an address with a booming parol business-- and the moment they set it up it means you know it is the start of the season.

It looks festive. So happy and gay sometimes it brings up the contrast of it... don't mind me.
Speaking of Christmas, Cheungsam gave me my first official gift this season. 2 vintage style notebooks that i absolutely adore to bits. I think i don't want to write on them. I have a lot of notebooks which i don't even use but i just like to look at.

Honestly, di naman ako mahirap regaluhan. I like getting stuff that i can use and i like giving stuff that i like. Sometimes i end up not giving it because i like them too much. Meron bang nagregalo sa akin na di ko masyado bet? Well, aaminin ko meron so dedma na sa 'the thought that counts' kasi obvious naman na walang thought yun dahil parang makapagbigay na lang. haha.

May nagbigay sa akin noon ng alarm clock na Winnie the Pooh--- i mean seriously? Winnie the Pooh alarm clock?! Buti na lang hindi Teletubbies kundi ihahagis ko yun. At nalaman ko na lahat pala sa team namin yun din ang binigay-- Winnie the Pooh alarm clock. I have nothing against Winnie the Pooh but at my age and him knowing my interests....you see it's synonymous to giving picture frames and scented candles (which i think i would like more). Whatever happened to doing a little research or small background check on the person you will give to? Or thinking maybe magugustuhan niya ito or magagamit niya ito when he/she gets it. Bad na kung bad pero di ko talaga bet yung Winnie the Pooh na alarm clock na yun. Mas gusto ko pa yung LED na de-pump na flashlight at mouse pad na niregalo sa akin, i even found it touching for a big boss to give me a Christmas card.

On a less hagard note, i would like to share some things that i enjoy. I found this thing on a friends blog that you list 15 things that you enjoy and other stuff. So here are mine.

15 things i enjoy:

1. I enjoy playing tennis and hearing the soft whack of the tennis ball when it hits the racket.

2. I enjoy travelling with open minded people.

3. I enjoy watching movies and experiencing the movie house.

4. I enjoy driving at 11pm and singing loudly inside my car.

5. I enjoy trying on clothes and shoes.

6. I enjoy daydreaming and fantasizing of certain scenes complete with lines and reaction.

7. I enjoy eating slowly in the company of good friends.

8. I enjoy walking while singing.

9. I enjoy playing silly games with friends.

10. I enjoy writing letters to friends abroad.

Well, yan muna.

Seouled Out in Korea

2011-11-30T08:02:00.000-08:00

Had a grand time eating, worming thru subways, keeping warm, feeling like a VIP and getting lost somewhere in Seoul. I can't even remember some of the names of the places we've been to because it sounds so Greek err.. Korean to me. hehe.

Of course, again, coming from a third world country, oooohs and aaahhs cannot be helped upon seeing the city. It makes you wish for a better country back home but then i'll leave the frustrations aside and just savor Seoul and all its wonderful trappings.

Here are some sights:

Seoul at around 8am i think. Going to our hotel in the Coex area.

View from the hotel room. Situated at the uptown side of the city. Gangnam area, I think.

The city is lined with trees that are without leaves. Must be the cold weather. Looking at the trees with dark twigs spread above the heavens can be a bit dramatic for me. Very melancholic. Cold and distant like the weather. or maybe i'm just a tropics kind of girl but i like em.

Taking the subway is the best because it's cheap and you can people watch. (And you can get a small refund for returning the ticket!) There is a culture underneath. How people go by and how they behave. Though i would have loved to see the sights above but they are down below here and it's a peek into what they are as a people. Well, Koreans are nicer than what i expected based on what i've experienced in the past 4 days of our trip.

Anyway, i'm quite tired. I've to go to sleep. I will leave this hanging for now.

Isang gabi sa mundo

2011-11-19T22:57:00.000-08:00

Isang gabi nag-inuman kami muli ng aking kaibigan. Nakakainis kasi kahit di niya sabihin lagi niyang pinapaalala kung ano ako talaga. Noon. Parang mas kilala niya ang sarili ko kesa sa akin. Nakakainis di ba? Kasi paminsan gusto kong takasan yung mga nire-remind niya sa akin palagi. Na simple lang ang mundo. Dapat maging masaya.

At kung masaya ka madali mong maibibigay ang kasiyahan sa ibang tao. Masaya ang mga tao sa paligid mo. Natatanggalan mo ng garapata ang mga aso mo at natatabas mo ng maayos ang bermuda. Yung mga saktong ganun lang ay nagagawa mo kasi... masaya ka. May kurot sa iyong puso at makinis ang balat mo.

Hindi yung isang gabi habang sumasayaw kayo sa isang high end na bar ay bigla ka na lang maiiyak sa sobrang tuwa. Nakakaloka. Lahat kayo nag-eenjoy na nagclu-clubbing tapos bigla kang luluha. Kasi doon mo lang ulit naranasan maging masaya, sa moment na iyon na lango sa Bacardi at nagpu-pump pump to the beat of the music. Sa gitna pala ng sobrang kasiyahan biglang pupukawin ka ng sobrang kalungkutan. Wala man lang jumping board. Ganyan talaga pag ma -drama ka. Paminsan umeeskapo ka sa drama para bigla kang sagpangin sa mga di inaasahang pangyayari. Mapapatulo ang luha mo sa background music ng On the Floor ni J. Lo pagkat nandoon ka sa moment na akala mo di mo na muli iyon mararanasan. Ang sarap. Ang saklap.

So para naman bumalik ako sa kapayakan ng panahon. Naglango kami ni K sa dati naming luho. Pilsen, kwentong ka-werdohan at teatro sa saliw ng blues ng malupit na guitar strumming oldie, at yung alam mo na..

Masayang masaya ako that night pero hindi ako umiyak. Nanikip lang ang dibdib ko pero wala naman akong sakit sa puso... marahil meron na nga pero pinipilit ko lang takpan. Kasi magaling ako sa mga ganun, mahilig nga ako maglagay ng takip sa mga lalagyang plastic sa ref.

Kaso sabi ni K na ang bulkang Taal daw ay bumulusok isang araw dahil natatakpan ang mga maliliit na lagusan ng usok nito sa mga gilid. Sa katatakip ay nawalan ito ng breathing space. Kaya ayun na wipe out daw ang ilan sa mga baranggay ng Batangas nang minsang sumabog ito. Natatakot daw siya para sa akin. Sabi ko naman mabait akong bulkan-- dormant na nga actually. Pero sabi niya ang bulkan ay bulkan pa rin.

Sa gabing yun, imagine, nagkwentuhan kami tungkol kay Eric Clapton, Jennifer Lopez, mga junaks (na di maiiwasan bilang sabay kami halos naging mudra) mga takip at mga bulkan. At parang tila tinilad tilad ng gabing iyon ang buhay ko--- inilagay sa lalagyan, nilagyan ng takip at ipinasok sa ref.

Fanning the Noranian in me

2011-11-08T10:40:00.000-08:00

Yes. Di lang siguro obvious pero I heart Nora Aunor! I don't really exactly know why, how and when did this adulation came about. You see I also love Lea Salonga but i can tell you exactly why, how and when did my love for her came about but not for Nora, certainly not her.

So warning, this is a pure Nora Aunor thing. If you are a Vilmanian-- what the hell are you doing here?! Joke lang. This is just what comes out of my mind about the greatness that is Nora Aunor in my system.

Perhaps i've heard a first hand story about her during my theatre days-- she went to a first reading rehearsal without a script in tow. Everyone of her theatre co-actors then were dumbfounded not because she didn't bring a script to a reading rehearsal but because she has memorized all of it on a reading rehearsal!! I don't really know if that story were true but then that image struck me. I imagined her too well.

And then another story sort of an urban legend thing in Peta where in came a scene in a play where she turned her back and heard a shocking news, one could note that you could feel the drama even she hasn't faced the audience yet kitang kita daw kahit sa likod ng siko ang pain sa narinig niyang balita. How much more if she turned to face the audience and look at her eyes. I mean, if you can convey such strong emotions without even facing your audience then what the hell are you?! Yes, you are Nora Aunor. Obviously, i am biased and i hold her up high.

I have little known tidbits about Nora actually so i can't be claimed an ultimately crazed Noranian and be a member of the GANAP (Grand Alliance of Nora Aunor Philippines. San ka pa? Parang partido lang di ba?) wherein you have to take pa daw a quiz about facts of her life. The usual fact i knew was that she had a number of adopted kids. The Guy and Pip tandem. The doll named Maria Leonora Teresa something. The 'my brother is not a pig' and that Hayup! Hayup! Hayuuuup! which is a really nice acting piece if you have seen the actual clip where she told it to Lolita Rodriguez. I am also fascinated that this girl who broke all standards of beauty back then was just someone who sold water at the railtracks.

I felt genuine honor that Preview featured her on their magazine which i think is a stroke of brilliance and class! Preview gave the feel of Vogue for featuring a legend and not just another pretty face in thin bodies swamped with signature goods. Nora Aunor is almost like a label. She is her own Louis Vuitton and all the other name and surname brands that we hold to high heavens. And this is a dump on wannabee fashionistas who think they are what they are because they project it. Lo and behold a real actress, sheer talent na as they say di pinag-aralan.

Honestly, I can't even remember if i sat to watch a complete film of hers. I know the plot of Himala, Minsan Isang Gamo-gamo and Bona but i can't remember if iv'e seen them but still the impact on me cannot be questioned. I haven't seen her but i guess I would gasp at the sight of her. Hold my breathe for a minute of being in the same space with her. And if properly introduced I would really hug her and thank her for being such a source of ultimate admiration. For being such master of conveying emotions and of fine acting prowess that would earn a spot alongside Meryl Streep. She is simply a rockstar. And rockstars have covers like this in black and white holding a cigarette as seen in YES magazine (which i bought and did not let my Lola arbor it from me!).

I would love to see the outcome if Annie Leibovitz would take her as subject.

It must be the hype i guess, her brandishing a title-- a superstar! I could not believe myself that i was almost in tears when i read of an article that she was coming back to her beloved home. Nora is such a legend and a thing of the past that has always kept her acting glory in high esteem. Actually, i've never really heard of any young actress today who emulates her and sees her as a favorite. I can't blame them though, perhaps they haven't done enough research. Well, i don't do research about her too like a fan but i share something that fellow Noranians do-- a love for her powerful art of on screen emotion, the msytery, the hullabaloo and everything that she is! Can you feel me there?

Horror lang

2011-11-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

At dahil November 1 allow me na maki-uso sa tradisyon ng horror keme. Nanakot na ako twice sa big screen. Una kasama si Juday sa pelikulang Kulam. At nakakaloka talaga ang unang experience ko sa acting to scare. Effortless naman basically sa acting part kasi naman tatayo lang ako in full prosthetics at boom! matatakot na ang bida sa mukha ko. Ganun lang naman. hahaha. Mahirap lang is the part where you get to wear the prosthetics especially on the face. It can take up to an hour and a half by two make up artists pa but nasanay na ako so dedma na lang. So this is me in character sa KULAM in 2007.

That isn't my face really. It's a cast face of Juday pasted on my face kasi in this film Juday has a twin sister who haunts her and I get to play the horrific twin sister. I have two wigs here and my arms are also in prosthetics. Much effort also is given to my nails to look really from the grave. Kasi maraming close up shots ang arms and nails ko hence the effort.

But before i looked like that. I had to go under make up tests for the approval of Regal's head Mother Lily. So the make-up artists came up with this face first before i became a Juday monster face.

Linda Blair ang peg kaya ayaw ni Mother Lily. At obviously if we're supposed to be sisters in the movie hindi kami magiging magkamukha ng totohonan kung ito ang masusunod na mook up. I have a semi long face as opposed to Juday's chubby one. Ergo--hindi kami magka-fez.

In here, Juday is wearing my all day costume and I'm wearing her normal clothes. Kasi they have to take back shots of Juday and i get to be Juday's double. Nagulat nga ako na magkasize kami ng pantalon. Kasi pumayat na talaga siya! And she eats healthy too on the set. She brings her own ref at lutuan sa set. At naloka ako na sa gitna ng kalibliban ng Boso Boso, Rizal ay nag-pa take out siya ng Pho Bo sa Pho Hoa. She is Judy Ann Santos after all and she has minions at her every beck and call. She's the star and being her sister in the film also puts me to star status--- chos naman!! But this picture says it all. Bwahahaha.

So sino ang mas inaasikaso sa pic na ito? Siyempre ang puso at dahilan ng isang horror movie which is the monster. Chos ulit! Naloloka kasi sila sa buhok ko. Ang gulo much lang na parang bulbol.

Now come 2009, the same director from Kulam (Jun Lana) took me again to play another monster. This time in TAROT where Marian Rivera is queen. Luckily this one requires lesser prosthetics because i don't have one on my arms and i don't have to wear a long wig like in Kulam. Yun nga lang i have a slit on my throat. O di ba very Boom na Boom House of horror lang?

Apart from the brown straight dress i wear. I also get to be glamourized by wearing a wedding dress! Yes, a monster on a wedding dress with a slit down her throat-- so cool di ba?!

This is the worst day of shooting for me actually. I have to wear this white dress at around 3am. The scene would be an actor has to look at me from behind him and out squirts blood from my slit throat straight to his face. Now the blood squirt mechanism was pure horror and agony for me. There is a tube stuck in my neck connected to the pump for the squirt but it never really worked and they had to do it for more than 10 times on the screen! So all the fake blood from the times they tried pumping came pouring from my neck down to my body. They had to do it manually na lang.

Haay... isang balde ata ng dugu-duguan ang dumaan sa katawan ko! Lo and behold at 8am after that scene i am soaking in fake blood from my bra down to my panty. Siyempre ang panty kong yellow naging pula at para akong karneng minarinade overnight. So major punas ako ng binti at katawan pero hindi ko na kinareer tanggalin ang scary make-up ko dahil pagod na ako talaga. Ive been working for more than 24hours already! And the worstest part is that i have to drive home pa.

So ayun, nagdrive ako all the way to Fairview in my non tinted car looking like an actual zombie with blood splatters on my neck and face. Dedma na sa earth sa mga tumitingin sa akin sa daan habang naka-poker face lang ako sa sobrang pagod at puyat. Hinayaan ko na lang silang maloka o ma-trauma habang papasok sa mga opisina nila. Kebs na kung mukha akong miyembro ng Walking Dead habang nagmamaneho at 9am on a Wednesday sa Commonwealth.

Memoirs of Lala chocolate

2011-10-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

Hello there old friend.

Level up na si Lala. Dati sa palengke lang ng Washington ko ito binibili kasabay ng mga tingi-tinging itlog at sanitary napkin. Lo and behold nasa SM Hypermarket ka na pala! At may manufacturing and expiratiion date ka na rin! Taray! Akala ko di ka nag-eexpire noon. I love chocolates be it cheap or snotty priced but what i can't stand is bad chocolate. Meron bang bad chocolate? Well, fortunately, di ko pa siya natitikman. Isa ang lala sa pinaka chipipay na chocolate na nangasab at kinaadikan ko. Kahanay niya ang kaadikan ko sa Kitkat, Strawberry dipped Chocolate sa Chocolate Fire, Kinder Bueno at ang Macchiavelli chocolates.

Madalas ako tumambay noon sa Santuico Mansions sa Makati-- ang humble abode ng mga L and G friends ko. Doon ako nakikitulog, nakiki-Play Station (Prince of Persia days) at nakiki-gamit ng cable TV dahil never naman kaming nagka-cable TV sa bahay namin at wala kaming family computer noon. We were in our early 20's at wala kaming pakialam sa mundo-- tambay, gimik, trabaho, more tambay with nomo and more gimik plus the requisite catching of our dreams. Yes naman, despite our carefree and seemingly wasteland of a life then, we had dreams and we were aiming for it. Tuwing umaga kumakain kami ng mga beki sa mga karinderya sa kung saan saan sa Washington area. Panghimagas namin ang Lala. Swak na partner ng karinderya food.

Si Z at si Chawdi ang nag introduce sa akin ng Lala chocolate na 5pesos lang ata isang slab. Soft to chew at masarap ngasabin. Napaka-cheap pero hindi cheap sa sarap! In fact sosyal pa nga tignan dahil may criss-cross effect siya ng grills sa bintana. di ba?!

Sa loob ng palengke lang siya mabibili kaya lagi ko na siyang binabalikan sa palengke na iyon. Dahil kahit pumunta pa ako sa palengke ng Novaliches na malapit sa tunay kong bahay ay hindi ko siya nakikita doon and did you know na sa Novaliches ay may more than 10 na palengke? Wala lang.

Lumaki ako sa Novaliches, Bayan. Doon kami namamalengke ng mudra ko every Saturday na may strict budget na 1,500 for a family of six plus 7 dogs but sadly never ako nakakita ng Lala doon sa palengke sa Bayan (siguro meron pero di ko lang nasusumpungan). At dahil adik much lang, dinadayo ko pa ang Lala sa palengke ng Makati. Kumusta naman di ba? Ganyan ako magmahal ng chocolate.... at ngayon na nagkita kami muli dito sa Hypermarket. Hindi ko na nga tinignan kung magkano basta nilagpak ko na lang siya sa aking cart.

I cannot help but be nostalgic about the chocolate and the things that come with it--- I miss those carefree days back at the Santuico Mansions, noong wala ka pang pera pero andami mong gala at pangarap... noong nag-uumapaw ka lang sa dami ng gusto mo mangyari sa buhay mo... noong nag-iisip ka pa lang ng ipapangalan sa anak mo... Well, salamat sa Lala na naibalik niya sa akin yun.

Funny how one sweet food can take you back to the sweetest of memories.

Current Polish

2011-10-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

This is not a beauty blog but it can be if i want to. haha. I just find this really worth the time to waste. Yeah--my nail polish.

I got this from Faceshop. Cheaper than OPI and but very nice and long lasting. I had the people from Nail Loft paint it because i can be a bit tulo laway on that. Very nice. Grayish silver with the slight shade of moss green swathed with soft specks of shimmer. Reminds me of a dominatrix housewife. That's DVD stuff on the background

There you go.

Stuff on the phone

2011-10-10T08:28:00.000-07:00

I have a phone that has a camera. Surprise! It's not the latest one and i never bought a phone for myself ever since cellphones became a must in every person's life. My first phone i had was a Bosch orange phone that i got from my mother. I used it in college though i have to admit i felt quite ashamed of it since everyone was into Nokia already and i had a phone na tatak pa ng bulldozer at forklift. Not cool. Then Moodrah got me a 3210 na nasama sa mga kinuha sa akin sa unang experience ko ng panghoholdap--college din yun. Moodrah gave me another hand me down phone na colored na this time until someone gifted me to which crushed into pieces after 2 years. My current phone is a gift from R. It's a Nokia Expressmusic. I like it since i don't have an ipod. I'm not into this Blackberry and the Iphone since i like to keep it simple. Heck, i don't even know how to send an MMS message thru my phone. Ayoko ma-stress habang nagtetext. Ayoko na ring mag-isip pa.

So dahil may camera siya, here are some stuff na kinunan ko in its 2 megapixel capacity. Hindi ko kinahiligang picturan ang sarili ko sa phone. Kadalasan pagkain at mga pic ng anak ko ang laman niya.

1. Meat spaghetti from Shakey's Pizza. My all time comfort spaghetti food. Pinalitan na niya ang Jollibee spaghetti sa buhay ko. Meaty and with a hint of basil tomato. Very filling. This takes me back to my days of youth and innocence picking out hard bayabas as i would gallivant around our village because my yaya made our home her motel with her boyfriend. Kwentong yaya iyan. Good food does take us somewhere beyond the restaurant.

2. Hapadog. American hotdog meets Japanese ek-ek. I devoured this with wasabi mayo at di kinaya ng ilong ko ang wasabi. Masarap siya as in ngunit hinay hinay lang sa wasabi mayo kasi sasapakin ka niya sa loob ng ilong mo. Got this in SM North. Madaming iba pang flavors na jap inspired.

3. A thought from REAL Coffee in Boracay. I was waiting for my Calamansi muffins and this caught my eye. And ain't it true? Somethings are indeed better rich and not in the money kind of way... but pwede na rin na in a money kind of way. hahaha.

4. Happy Lemon. Another happy place kaso dinadayo ko pa ito sa Greenhills! Hagard di ba? Pero so worth it. Ito ang paborito kong tsaa place and hands down ako sa Cocoa with Rock Salt and Cheese nila pati sa Green Tea with Rock Salt and Cheese. Kaloka lang ang pila pag linggo, parang pila ng lotto. Yamot factor lang.

5. Those are my legs as they lie watiting for the Nail Loft people to undo them. I love Nail Loft. Omar introduced me to this mani-pedi place with all the other sidings of a pamper me effect. The complimentary tea, the eye mask, the chic ambiance na hindi over the top screaming pink, the massage and the nail polish choices. They have Chanel brand in the T. Morato branch which i think are the nicest ones in terms of color.

6. My little miss Musa. She's three years old here and every inch looking like a little lady waiting for her macaroons and tea to be served. I so love this pic.Very prim and proper with her polka dot dress, her toe cap denim flats and that dusky exterior.

Sums it up in this

2011-10-05T01:42:00.000-07:00

Got this in facebook. It can be misleading but it is a nice thought.

Movies about Cheating

2011-10-02T23:15:00.000-07:00

Marriage is the act of staying put like a dog with a horse's eye mask. Unfortunately, the eye mask didn't come with the marriage. And generally, in our society, adultery is also masked and spoken of in hush hush tones. And now to unmask it and cast them in light are movies about them and sometimes on youtube videos (hehe). The main appeal are straying eyes and having penises in somebody else's vagina and vice versa. Behold the celluloid world of cheating and adultery.

2 movies came out with the same theme in the span of a month or two. I'm liking this. It cannot be helped but compare and contrast because it's so close and of course, it's made by 2 different film outfits who are in a way competing-- Regal Films and StarCinema. I guess they're not actually competing but since the other movie is Kapuso made and the other is Kapamilya made. And if you are in the Filipino universe--that is a competition and i'm part of that since i work on one of those. hehe. So here's my unbiased observation of the two movies (eventhough i stated already that i work in one) pero ito walang kiyeme. Basta ako bilang manonood lang.

My Neighbor's Wife

We have four beautiful friends who are also 2 couples. Carla and Jake are the rich ones who owns a bar and live in a glossy condominium unit while Lovi and Dennis are the struggling ones who just happens to look rich. One night, Lovi and Jake take time to cool off amongst their respective marital issues and then they end up in bed. The sex scenes between the two are so stylish and it makes you want to yearn to go to bed with a woman or man who isn't your partner. It is that charged up and wonderfully, sexily shot.

The morning after, Lovi dreads the act, she is after all married to handsome Dennis Trillo. Jake also feels that way because hey, this is the wife of his friend and not some girl he picked up. Unfortunately, Lovi left her earrings in that motel which was gifted to her by Carla, Jake's wife.

Soon that one night of tryst was discovered by Carla and confronts Lovi about it. I just love how Carla went to this sort of dinner/prayer meeting where Lovi and Dennis was. The moment Carla stepped in we could see Lovi's horror upon seeing that Carla is wearing the earrings Carla gave to her. (She left the earrings at the motel!) Ah shet, paano napunta sa kanya yung hikaw? Ayun, huli na kayo. Nagkabukingan and then the classic sabunutan and sampalan. I love how surprisingingly subtle and intriguing that element of earrings was used to expose adultery. Powerful.

After that bukingan, things were never the same again. Dennis became uptight and always on the radar of Lovi's whereabouts and movement. Lovi became more maasikaso and even learned how to cook unlike her old self just so as to make it up to Dennis. Carla became indifferent to Jake who also was paying for his faults by becoming a dutiful husband devoid of flings. Soon, Dennis and Carla caught up with each other due to Dennis' hunch that Lovi might still be hooking up with Jake but in the end, it's Carla and Dennis who end up hooking, having sex in the kitchen and moving on to an illicit affair for 8 months. hehehe.

Though the movie is quite glossy (hello jetski at napaka-gandang condo unit), may mga certain scenes that give out a certain truth of what is really happening out there. Like how Lovi likes flashy stuff but she couldn't afford so she pays them hulugan and how she hides it from Dennis.

The lines are memorable but some of it are parang di swak sa pinag-uusapan. Parang mailagay lang para sabihing bongga ang linya. I don't know it just doesn't seem right to me the way it was said and why she said it--- na hindi siya magaling magluto pero magaling siya sa kama. Watch the whole scene and that line was a bit off tangent to what they are talking about. Parang ha? Saan nanggaling yun? Though i liked the part where Lovi said-- Huwag mo gamitin ang isang pagkakamali ko upang paulit-ulit mo akong saktan!
So true and stright from the heart.

Carla Abellana just jolted herself from a cookie cutter type of acting and image. Noong unang acting gig niya sa Rosalinda noon, dyosko, tatamarin ka panoorin dahil parang hindi nag-breakfast si Carla. Parang walang sustansya umarte but see her now in this movie and it's like nag-double rice pa siya! She suddenly had a spine all her own. And she had sex scenes to boot!

But generally, the movie was well made with very interesting nuances among the characters. The plot gives you more than is expected of an adultery film. The usual boring na babae kaya nangaliwa ang lalake tapos lalaban ang asawa. Ang ending mapupunta pa rin ang lalake sa tunay na asawa. Alam na natin yan, kasi yan naman talaga ang gusto nating mangyari-- di ba? But this movie takes you on another spin, another side of the coin. And the ending scene leaves you with something that spawns cheating and adultery...
Yun nga lang ubod ng chaka ang trailer!! Panira! Parang B-movie na may musical number sa beach ang effect.

No Other Woman

Ito simple lang. This is the adultery movie with a plot that we are so used to. The usual boring na asawang babae na nangaliwa ang lalake pero in the end yung asawa pa rin ang pinili. Si Anne ang kabit na ayaw magpatalo. Si Christine Reyes ang boring na housewife at si Derek Ramsey ang hot na asawang lalake.

Ang chaka ng umpisang eksena-- Anne Curtis emerging from the waters in her criss-cross swimsuit tapos ina-aurahan siya ng mga kalalakihang parang mga beki while maririnig mo ang VO ni Derek Ramsey pertaining to pagbebenta ng furniture. Tapos cut to makikita mo si Angel Jacob na parang pusang nag-iinit sa upuan habang sina-sales talk siya ni Derek Ramsey into buying a chair. What the fuck?! Pag bumibili ka ba ng upuan hahaplusin mo ba ang legs mo at ipapasilip mo ba ang panty mo sa harap ng salesman?! Well, at least sa umpisa lang yun. Pambulag ba? Parang alam ko na, it's all in the mind...

What makes this movie interesting? It's done the way our minds would want it and have it. We have the most hunky husband on earth (Derek Ramsey) na kahit hindi ganun ka bonggels ang sex scenes nila ay pagpapawisan ka once na sumulong na ang katawan ng pambihirang lalakeng ito sa iyo. And we have Anne Curtis, the most glamorous of all kabits with matching Hermes bag, Herve Leger bodycon and an NY state of mind to boot. She is steamingly hot! And the unbelievably boring housewife--Christine Reyes. I mean she can easily transform herself into a steamy kabit with that body and boobs if somebody told her pero kasi hindi siya ganun. Tapos may scene na naggaganchilyo siya masabi lang na boring housewife siya. hehehe.

I guess the lines here are far more wittier than the other movie. And it really works, you can feel that indeed, the world is one messed up Quiapo na maraming snatcher at kailangan mong lumaban. You go out of the movie house with that imbibed and you feel empowered! if not on the lookout for a snatcher. hahaha!
Bravo to Carmi Martin for having said that. She shines in this movie.

The part where the two girls meet and exchange a slew of double entendre are classic teleserye. Enjoyable to watch since we see and hear a sabunutan of words from the wife and mistress. But of course, the real sabunutan will eventually come in their most dangerous swimsuits.

Anne Curtis is superb once again. Napaka- subtle and at the same time in your face ang acting niya. Very contradicting but it's like you see she has this whole turmoil going on inside her yet she keeps it calm. Christine Reyes delivers and so does Derek Ramsey but parang may kulang talaga ang pelikula. May attempt to add depth sa character ni Derek pero parang dedma na lang.

Entertaining siya pero may kulang. Very predictable na kasi ang storya. Parang dinaan na lang sa lines and sa artista ang lahat pero other than that it's nothing new. The three artistas here are quite good. What works also is the trailer. Yes, it can lure you into spending 150 pesos then come out feeling i should have waited for this sa cable. But don't get me wrong, i liked it ha. It's just that i'm too immersed in these kinds of plots that i am looking for something new that will be worth the extra buck.

Something

2011-09-27T07:12:00.000-07:00

I feel that my breasts are heavier and it's not because of milk. There's this feeling hovering around me that i am in denial of because i do not want to entertain it. It's something i avoid, something i dread like another zit below my chin. I wouldn't allow it to trespass but then it had been here slowly creeping in. They say we are the ones who permit ourselves to feel a certain way... if we demand to be happy amidst sadness then we will be happy. But for now i refuse to demand and dictate... i want to rain on my parade.

Another string of uncertainty and insecurity is looming. Typhoon Pedring reinforced it because i have no other thing to distract me of it since there isn't electricity for the whole day--which didn't allow me to read. The kids who are used to being rowdy and noisy were overcome with silence because of the dark. And silence and doing nothing kept me company with this pity feeling. It seemed apt to unearth this shallow concern---self-doubt.

Questioning myself leaves me catching my breath. It's like doing a fucking yoga pose and then getting stuck with it. Like the muscles just want you to be in that position permanently and you don't get it at all. It stalls. It hinders my mind and turn me into another "as is, where is" acting of sorts. A Jaclyn Jose moment. Plunges me into a song--Do you know, where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you... tralala..

The thing is, i guess, i rely too much on important people for my self-worth. Which i know shouldn't be that way-- for what if they don't care at all? Then i just jump off a building? Cut short the many possibilities i could have been just because important people don't give an ass? Yeah maybe sometimes but that is the dramatic masochist in me. And right now, i'm being like that. I am emo right now minus the kohl eye liner and those bands. What a pussy. I'm hitting my 30's and my issues are so ten years ago. I wallow in self doubt while others right now wallow in muck, grime and rat's piss. Who cares about my doubt, we want shelter and dry land!! Now that's the other side of me--- social keme and Fraulein Maria side.

I think i just contradicted myself. I guess, I am my own shrink.
I just wish this heavy feeling was because of milk. I miss breastfeeding.
Other than that then it's emo mudrah on a whipping typhoon night.

Vack with a V

2011-09-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

I just came from a whirlwind vakasyon with the kiddos. And now i just finished writing my revisions for our epic show. I am so tired. The nightcap massage didn't quite help to settle my body in sleep mode because i am here blogging and checking out OMG's what were they thinking photos. haha. I will do the necessary blogging of the trip we made with the kids, if i feel like it. Boracay is nothing new except to my kids. And what's new is that i didn't even bother touching my laptop while i was there! Such a feat!

Though there are other things to spill about like how i am currently rolling into deep with my 80 peso book-- Isabel Allende's Of Love and Shadows. The title is like an afternoon soap no? Sa Pag-ibig at mga Anino... sweeping! I'm already on chapter 2 and i am beginning to marinate myself into it unlike the first few chapters which had me reading it on and off for like 6 months or more. I read it slumping on artificial grass on a children's playground while waiting for a favorite resto to open shop. I was hungry for good food and lucky me, i was fed with a good book first before i devoured actual food. Mind over gullet sort of thing so the hungry pangs went away.

A trip with good friends is also brewing in between texts with Lady Bumper in time for her birthday. La Union, again, is the destination. I might not bring the kids because the thundering waves might be too much for them and might be a cause for trauma. They've been on 2 beaches on a windy rainy day and they're horrified with it! A third installment might get them to curse me for taking them to another beach particularly that of the San Juan beach of La Union. Also, if you're a parent, it's a heave of relief as well since road tripping with 2 toddlers who are below the age of 5 for more than 5 hours is a test of patience---believe me. Ah such cuties but they're cute little devils who can make a demonyo out of you. And I don't want to turn away my friends into having kids even if they're gay. Hehe. Good thing nang umulan ng pasensya at timpi sa Sauyo, nakapagdala ako ng batya. M and O crying and shouting on the airplane makes me want to spontaneously combust or jump off the airplane. Exag yes pero it's a mental image but i love those kids. Just me saying that there are haywire times like those.

So now, i'm hungry at 2am.
Must get off here before i head to our cockroach friendly ref for some grub.
Our ref invites small ipis occasionally.
The crawling ones with stripes and not the ones that fly ha.
But still, punyeta, ipis pa rin sila.
At naroon sila sa ref namin. Paminsan.

Three years old

2011-09-04T10:03:00.000-07:00

How time flies. Who would have thought that before i hit the 3 mark, i would be bearing another 3 in my life. And that is the age of my beloved little banana---Musa. I secretly call her my banana because her name is part scientific name for a common banana. Too bad she doesn't like to eat one. You know.. kids and their fried chicken.

I remembered it well that day she came. I had a blurry vision of everything in the ER. I was lulled by sedation as they had to crack me open. After a few minutes of the drug taking in effect, they had to wake me up and make me see the baby. I don't know why they let me sleep and then suddenly burst me awake again... perhaps to assure that a human came out of me or perhaps to spare me of the dreaded teleserye syndrome of switching babies. Hell yeah... i write those things i sure hope it won't happen to me. No mother moment there because i was seriously drugged but i saw her looking really weird... and then pffft I go.

The mother moment came in the nursery. She really wasn't much of a pretty baby straight from an ad. She was swollen and looked as if she went thru a black hole... like she had a rough day coming out of my womb and that she'd want to be left in peace. Well, the feeling was mutual. I, too, had a rough day after all those 3 minute interval of labor pains and silent tremble.

I stared at her again. She looked like her real mother was Tina Turner in Mad Max. But then i held her, took a picture of her in my old phone and for a moment there i knew... my life would never be the same again.

Now, 3 years after coming out of me, she has a mind of her own. She doesn't like me to buy her pants because she only wants dresses. Very familiar fashion sense. A fan of Donald Duck, Belle of Beauty and the Beast, and Angry Birds where she mimics the howling of the birds when you get thru past a level. Eats only crispy fried stuff and carbonara done by her Lola. She can speak English and still spot a garapata a few steps from her. She knows the old Tong Tong Tong pakitong-kitong alimango song. She sings Tomorrow and belts it out when she feels like it and not because i asked her to which she won't oblige if i did. She's a bit on the adorably cute maldita side.

But she's slowly becoming a beauty... dusky and bright eyed with almond shaped eyes to boot. Not that i am biased but she really is beautiful and what's keeping me more at peace is that she's growing up strong willed. A strong mocha beauty named after a banana and public school principal---Musa Dimasidsing. When she really goes out there, a lot of things will bend and break her... make her into something she is not and what's valuable, i guess, is to know who truly one is. A strong sense of self to get her thru the day, an imbibed value of what is just, true and good. The feel of I am what I am. An individuality.

And much like the guy i got her name from--Musa Dimasidsing, who died clutching the ballot boxes away from those who wanted to grab it, i hope she gets to imbibe that sense. Of course, i don't wish for her to die if someone is to take it literally if you know what i mean. She has a long way to go. She's just a three year old rascal!

But for now, i wish she'd eat vegetables and just kiss me more often. She still is my little peanut butter colored banana.

La la la la Union

2011-08-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

The long weekend just had to be filled out for some gallivanting. And the chosen path was up north but on the lesser north that is La Union. The first salvo of our trip was greeted with heavy down pour and doubts on wether we would go for that 6 hour trip. But still, the lakwatsera in me loomed over R that after a short break from the rain jolted us out of the comfy of our homes and into the van to get the freak on it. I never had doubts amidst the uneasiness besetting the elderly around me.

The trip with family and chosen friends were long, cold and had the weather whipping us. It was a signal number 1 after all on our chosen destination. We were met with homes dealing with imminent flood waters as we went past the town of Urdaneta in Pangasinan. And that's how life is here in the Philippines... if it's raining...prepare! If it's not raining... beware! Though it feels like a check on guilt when you see them struggling for that basic need for dry and safe shelter while you're on way to get wet and spend leisure times.

We arrived in La Union past 6pm. Our bodies are all tattered up for that long drive so sleep we did while the rain was still about and had the big waves crashing in the background. In the morning we were greeted by this view that said welcome surfers and i'll rock your brains out! (hahahaha! surfers talaga!)

Well, that's what we intend to do there anyway. I'm telling you the beach isn't suited for skimpy bikinis and not meant for lounging around unless you want waves lapping you up whole and puking you out minus your littlest of clothes. Yes. mahuhubaran ka ng bongga doon kapag naka-string bikini ka lang. Dahil wa pakels ang waves sa damit mo kasi sasampalin ka niya with all her might. And what is the proper attire for that kind of beach? Rashguard. It covers you up right up your neck and sometime your whole sleeve but at least it makes you less of a public porn thing with your round areolas unabashedly making a hello to the world (which happened to my friend!) It's kinda boring to wear but it amps up the poser-coolness factor that hey-- I'm a surfer!!! and just by the virtue of wearing it even if you're not one. hahaha. But tight bikinis are great to wear too and with impeccable abs, it's always a crowd pleaser. hehe. Just secure them enough so they won't go falling off of your body when you emerge from the sea. So here's a wide surfer shot.

This is my third time to be in the beaches of San Juan, La Union. First one was 10 years ago during Christmas time and surfing was really unheard of for me even La Union as a beach place. We were coming from Ilocos and we had to make an emergency stop so moodrahbel made a turn in a sort of kakahuyan and lo! just a few walks away was a nice and deserted beach. We really stumbled upon it and we saw Jericho Rosales with his surfing buddies. He was nice too considering that was the height of his fame via Pangako Sayo. We had a small chat about the beach and photography while my aunt was blown away because she can't believe i was casually talking with a famous artista.

The second visit was only last year with my parents and Musa. Oyayi was barely three months old that time so he had to stay in Manila. It was summer and the place was packed with surfers and surfing lessons. Musa had some fun time and wasn't too afraid of the waves back then because it was a bit tamed.

This is LU in the summer of 2010. Dameng tao. Magkakabangaan na kayo ng surfing board.

Aint this a piece of summer delight?

I didn't get to hit the waves because i just had a CS operation back then in 2010. Too bad. But the third time was just last week and i also didn't get to touch one inch of the board because i couldn't move properly with my back and neck pains. Punyeta di ba?! Sa pangalawang pagkakataon hindi pa rin sumang-ayon ang katawan ko to do this! My babies were afraid of the waves because it was more cruel this rainy season but it won't stop me from taking them here. I'm glad too that my friends enjoyed it here and had experienced things that were priceless-- one got stoked and one flashed her boobs out! O di ba?! JA was too happy as well for finally seeing an ultimate crush and surfer boy Luke Landrigan. Gwapo talaga 'to at yummy!

Looks like a sleepy Jake Gyllenhaal to me eh? But naman! Tatanggi ka pa ba diyan?! Maganda pa ang pangangtawan niya! JA was all frozen when he walked past us and she began to look like a frozen tomato right in front of her husband Marky. Ayun ang crushie moment. Ako'y deds lang bilang not so much of my type.

Anyways, back to the beach. At least it's still there and i have yet to conquer it. Wala akong takot kahit di ako marunong lumangoy hahaha! I guess La Union is meant for the really outgoing, adventurous type and best enjoyed with a barkada with a shared bucket list--- to surf!

bente nuebe

2011-08-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

lately ko lang na realize na 29 na pala ako. 9 years ago lang bubot na bubot pa ako. Now that after 9 years ay heto na ako ngayon. Hindi naman masama ang kinalabasan ko. Medyo kampante na rin ako in a way na hindi kasi next year i'm going to hit the big 3 league.

20's was about dilly dally, about being lost and found. About striking while the iron is so hot. Making leaps and bounds. I immensely enjoyed my 20's. The world for me was a wide meadow and i could run free and naked with it. It was a decade of opening and closing doors and making way for lit windows. I fell in love in my 20's, in all aspects of my life. It was passionate and riveting. I had a job then and suddenly lost it. I couldn't go back home for fear of losing face and had to squat in a friend's house. I met good friends and discarded some. I just loved every year that went by in my 20s. And now i'm at the rear end of that decade, it seems i don't want to let go. And my body is telling me so...

Iba na kasi pag-trenta. It's like you have to straighten up your act. Kung durugista ka dati for the past ten years then ito na ang panahon na itigil mo siya. Kung tambay ka lang at pagita-gitara, when you hit 30's ito na yung time pagkakitaan mo na yung pagtambay at pagigitara mo. I knew somebody who spent 8 years of his life doing nothing but play online games sa bahay. Literal 'to. When he hit his 30's bigla niyang naisip na mag-aral ng engineering. Ayun, awa ng Diyos, pasado na sa board exams at engineer na siya.

I don't have any plans sa aking 30's life. Bring it to me. Lagi naman akong walang plano pero siyempre the usual gusto ko ng bahay kotse et al. Pero other than that gulatan lahat ng nangyayari sa buhay ko pero i have faith. Kaya nga minsan, gusto ko magbigay ng unsolicited advice sa mga friends ko na mag-asawa na ayaw pa nila magka-anak kasi wala pa daw pera. We can never be truly prepared for anything in this life. Ako, I strongly believe that i will always be provided for by God, emotionally and financially. That's true for me. I'm not a practicing catholic but i believe hindi ako pinabayaan kahit kailan. Sa tingin ko, yun lang, faith. Unfaltering faith that everything will turn out fine whatever the odds.

Here are things i look forward to in my 30's

1. To just let things be. If it comes then it's there. Savor it. If it doesn't then it doesn't, move on.

2. More reasons to smile and look forward to. Like making films, cooking, eating slowly, playing tennis, visiting museums and marvelling at paintings with childlike awe.

3. New found friends and actual real relationships other than facebook friends.To meet them in person and talk with them, you know.

4. Wear a two piece bikini again. I don't really care about my CS scar to be seen as long as i have a nice tummy. I'm working on that unconsciously.

5. To actively help other people. Really. Particuarly those i don't know. Can be as simple as teaching my cousin how to act out a role in her school play. To giving school stuff to the children of our kasambahays.

6. To appreciate the littlest of things. Like how nice it is to walk barefoot on soft grass after some hard running. Like fitting in again on an old pair of jeans. The soft sound of a tennis ball hitting swiftly on your racket.

7. For old things to be seen with a new set of eyes. For more AHA moments that keep me in calm affirmation that life is so fucking great.

Mga bagay na di ko masyadong bet

2011-08-15T01:03:00.000-07:00

Ito bawal ma-offend ha! May disclaimer agad. Ito ay akin lang naman. Hindi naman ibig sabihin na gusto mo ang mga bagay na wala sa radar ng solar system ko ay halimaw ka na at masama kang tao. Nagkataon lang na iba ang tastes natin. Ganun talaga eh. Diverse ang mundo natin which makes it so exciting hindi ba? Yung trip mo sa iyo yun at wala akong problema dun pero ito yung mga di ko masyadong trip Siguro sa ngayon hindi ko sila gusto pero who knows? Baka mauntog ako't magka-amnesia't magustuhan ko rin sila. Pero hindi ako mangingiming sabihin kung ano ang sa tingin ko sa kanila and i won't mince em. By the way, i'm not one of those fashion forwards. Bwahahaha.

Number 1: Leopard print booties/wedges.

Hindi ko talaga gusto ang mga leopard print lalo na sa style na ganito ng sapatos. Ewan ko. Siguro dati akong leopard skin in my past life. Sa mga nakita kong rumampa na ganito ang suot parang nakulangan sa legs ang dating. Nakakaliit siya ng biyas at nakaka-cut ng elongation ng legs ng isang babae. Para kang pinagkaitan ng legs. Also I find it tacky and crass. Reminds me of 80's na prosti sa malate with matching bubble gum. Parang sinusuot ng mga bratz dolls na mukhang hayok na madevirginize. Kaloka ang mga dolls na yun. Siguro sexy ito kung leopard print na stilletos o kaya open toed heels but not with booties and wedges. Fierce kung fierce sa iba but it doesn't say in my book.

Number 2 Sheer Maxi Skirts

O si Ms. Transformers pa ang nagsuot nito ha. Pero di ko pa rin bet. Mahilig ako sa palda. As in old style palda pa noong 50's-70's type. Pero hindi ko feel ito. Teh, nagpalda ka pa ng mahaba eh kita naman panty mo! Kahit ba sabihin mong signature hot pants pa yan, pekpek shorts pa rin yan. Ang tingin ng lahat ay nakalitaw ang So-en mo. Nawawala ang mystery of the palda underneath kasi masyadong giveaway. Parang karinderyang bukas sa lahat ng pwedeng kumain. Dito ko i-aapply ang mga bagay na everything is not meant to be seen but imagined. Eh di sana nag two piece ka na lang. But then sabi nga nila, people dress for themselves daw so kever! But no! Huwag na tayo magmaang-maangan pa, kaya tayo nagdadamit kahit pa sabihin mong kakaiba ang pananamit mo is because you want to make a statement of yourself. Yes, kahit naka-tshirt at short ka lang. Kung in ang sheer maxi skirts ngayon, di ko feel ito ngayon.

Well, na realize ko ngayon na dalawa lang pala sila, for now.

Ang Life.. bow

2011-08-07T22:24:00.001-07:00

Nasumpungan ko ito sa Facebook.
Napakaganda.
Napakatotoo.
Simple.
Payak.

O di ba?

Let me tell you something about Beauty

2011-08-05T00:35:00.000-07:00

But first, i cannot completely claim i am because i don't fit the standard. Whatever the standard is but dito sa Pilipinas it's 1. clear skin 2. fair or maputi 3.Matangos ang ilong 4.Magandang mata. Sa apat na iyan isa lang ang mai-claclaim kong meron ako and that is magandang mata. Hindi na ako magpapaka-humble na sabihin iyon bilang iyon ang isa sa mga asset ko. And my eyes has served me well at some point.

Yung matangos na ilong, well, hindi ko naging issue ang ilong ko. Hindi siya matangos pero hindi naman siya bagsak. It takes up space on my face but then i don't see anything wrong with it. Hindi ko aim na magkaroon ng fair complexion kasi hindi ko lang feel ang maging maputi-- may kaputian ako sa tagong parts ng katawan kasi di nga nasisinagan ng araw pero basically morena pa rin. At hindi ako nagpapaputi. Though kaputian is equated to cleanliness, i say clear skin does equate to it kahit kulay putik ka pa. And that's what i've been aiming-- Clear skin. Walang pekas, tagyawat or what have you's found in the face. and that is what i lack, clear skin.

Noong bata ako, hindi ako maganda. As in. Mukha akong palakang malaki ang mata. Tapos dinapuan ako ng sangkatutak na tagywat noong adolscent years ko. So ergo: hindi ako sikat, taga-hawak lang ako ng arko sa sagala, walang nanligaw sa akin at di ako kabilang sa greater pie of the world--those who have it all! Nagkaroon ako ng self-esteem issues kasi ang pinsan ko napaka-gandang babae at kino-compare ako sa kanya. Tapos outcast pako nung highschool. Kulang na lang magpakamatay ako--pero hindi ko naman ginawa yun. OA naman yung magpakamatay.

Tuwing reunion namin nagtatago ako sa likod ng pinto para di na lang ako mapansin kasi maiinis na naman ang mga tita ko sa bagong tubo kong tagyawat. Lalabas na lang ako pag may-games kasi adik ako sa mga palaro noon. Well, i think what got me through was my father.

I think he knew then what i felt back then. I was 14 very much insecure and clammy, quiet and mysterious and always listening to Pearl Jam and U2. Mukha akong goth na hindi. All because i didn't have clear skin. My face was a circus of blackheads, white heads, pimple scars and the likes. And i wish i had a paper bag on my face every single day. My Dad caught me hiding sa likod ng pinto and i froze. Then he just told me--"Huwag ka nang mag-ano sa mukha mo, magbasa ka na lang ng libro" Well, as if reading was a beauty tip, i heeded it. And somehow things open up for me. It did. Really. i felt beautiful because i knew something some people don't. haha. and i was able to share it with them.

Poodrah had this way of telling me that beauty is just that. You can't prove anything to yourself and to other people if your're just a pretty face. Hanggang magandang mukha ka na lang. Totoo, pero it helps if you have a pretty face to boot. Ang mahirap ay kapag maganda ka nga, wala ka namang ganap, wala kang maipagmayabang sa sarili mo. at bongga ka talaga kung napaka-ganda mo na at napak-rich mo pa bilang tao!

Kaya nga eto na. Nagpapaganda na ako ngayon. bwahaha. Nag-clear up naman ang skin ko in time pero may hung ups pa rin ako. Kaya nagpatanggal ako ng warts sa mukha.

Kaya ayun, napaka-chaka ko lang ngayon. I'm oiled up most of the time and i have this dots on my face that looks like tilamsik ng putik na nanigas or worse, mukha siyang mga malilit na bangaw na ayaw nang umalis sa fez ko. Well, sabi nila 2 weeks lang daw ito. So here's my 2 weeks of ugliness.

Sa tingin ko lahat naman ng tao maganda, kailangan lang nilang magsipag. Pero extra effort ka lang dun sa panloob na kagandahan mo-- that includes your values, talent, skill, principles and beliefs as a person. May mga tao talagang sadyang maganda at hindi pumapangit kahit tumatanda, siguro kasi as they grow old that beauty flows from their face to their hearts--naks, kaya lalong nagra-radiate. Cliche na kung cliche pero beauty talaga ay skin deep. Ako gusto ko lang luminis ang mukha ko. Period.

Funny Car

2011-08-02T01:59:00.000-07:00

There's this new toy that my kids got from somewhere. It really made me curious, because its says it's a Funny Car.

So kumusta naman ang box? At kung Pixar follower ka, alam mo na!! hahaha.

A closer look on it and you can see it resembles Mr. Lightning McQueen and Willy Garte. Sana hindi siya naka-bawal na gamot. Or pwede din namang Lightning Mcqueen and Randy Santiago. Bago ko buksan ang laman ng box ay ito ang ine-expect kong hitsura niya. Lightning Mcqueen na parang initiman ng pentel pen ang salamin sa harap. Kaya nga't nagulantang ako nang ito ang finished product niya out of the box.

Boom! Lightning Mcqueen na naka-drugs. Gulantang is the term because hindi ko inexpect na ganito ang histursa. Naka-luwa ang mata na parang nakakita ng boobs ni Ms. Piggy. In fairness, natawa ako dito. Hindi ako naka-kape pero parang gumising ang diwa ko. Then i realized, hey, kaya nga Funny Car eh. May nabasa pa ako sa Battery Warning sa may box na sinasabing: Non-rechargeable batteries are not to be recharged. Bwahahaha! Malamang! At least may kaunting sense kaysa naman sa nakikita kong Korean stationery na may sinasabing-- Love is You and life, pretty like a star. Bwahahahahaha!! O di ba may masabi lang na cute, kahit ano na lang!

Heniways, at least ine-enjoy naman sila ng mga junaks. Umiikot din pala siya at may music na nakaka-irita kapag tumagal. China made. Keri na sakin yun. Mababaw lang ang kaligayahan nila sa mga ganyang bagay. Kahit nga plato at dahon gagawin nilang laruan. It's imagination at play. At yun ang importante i-cultivate sa bata.

Medyo Manic Monday

2011-07-25T09:28:00.000-07:00

I was expecting work to pour in today but when i opened my email-- wala. Hindi pa ine-email ng aking bossing ang kailangan kong sulatin for the rest of the week. OK lang naman at least i get to gallivant.

So i went to the office (office daw oh! i don't really have an office-office per se bilang pakalat kalat lang kami sa Morato area) today and took my newly stickered ID, some papeles and met up with co-writer Ken to pay for the Patalbos night come Wednesday. It's going to be THE party for us all Kapuso writers. I also instructed a surprise treat for one of our colleagues since he was feeling a little tampo on us for not attending his birthday bash.

Then i realized today is the SONA (State of the Nation Address). I'm not feeling much of it. It doesn't move a twitch in my muscle the way Cinemalaya and Eugene Domingo did in my system. Well, because they are after all words... anticipated collection of words from the highest guy in the Philippines. But i do hope it inspires the uninspired and move the unmoved-- what speeches are for eh? And as i logged on to twitter, i see that he said something nice and worthy of a quote---Personal sa akin ang paggawa ng tama. (It's personal for me to do what is right). Wow. Not too epic to hear but creates a stir. I was expecting a little bit of Martin Luther King type of speech but that sentence made me gush. So, i guess, he succeeded in his speech, let's see if he can flex his muscle thru it.

So after little thought about the President's speech and figuring out what to do next for my official lakad-- i went to the mall and did the deed--shopping and grocery. Well, i'd stress on the shopping part. I took a mental note of some shopping/loitering observation.

1. I realized my puson is in the way of my dressing. Yes, the Puson. It's a dreaded part of a mother's body and sometimes often seen in a policewoman tucked under her pencil skirt. Naka-protrude talaga sila sa mga policewoman like a small hill covered in navy blue cloth. And my puson---It has a life of it's own and it is making it's presence felt. What can i do? Mahirap siya i-flatten kahit bakliin ko pa ang likod ko kaka-sit ups.

2. A 5% off an item is not SALE. Lokohan ang tawag dun. It's just a friekin ploy to lure people into buying stuff when they take only like 20pesos off the real friekin price. Ano yun menos pamasahe? A real SALE is 50-70% off!!

3. Tea is in bloom. I think it's healthier than coffee. And they're yummy too plus you can choose the amount of sugar per drink. I've tried Gong Cha and the favorite Happy Lemon. Dinadayo ko pa sa Greenhills ang Happy Lemon na ito. Effort. Good thing i stumbled upon Gong Cha here in SM North.

Well, that's it for my medyo manic Monday. o di ba, medyo lang. A really manic Monday would be all about government stuff--SSS, LTO, BIR and all that shit.

Harry Potter and Eugene Domingo

2011-07-21T09:53:00.000-07:00

For the first time ay nakapanood ako ng film series kinahumalingan ng mundo--ang Harry Potter part 2 ng Deathly Hallows. Malamang wala akong naintindihan at medyo inantok ako kasi nga first Harry Potter movie ko ito. Pasensya na JK Rowling, i know your Harry Potter is exceptional, no doubt, pero mas nahumaling lang ako kay Tolkien. I still obliged to watch bilang mahilig ako manood ng sine and i know this won't fail me. Ang ending all through out the film ay tanong dito tanong doon at may mga new realizations like---ahhh, Deatheaters sila? Galing naman!

I still find Ralph Fiennes as Voldermort seductively villainous despite the non existent nose. His evil voice creeps into me and somehow i see that he acts well. Such silent force of evil, di ba? Pwede na siya sumama sa best villains club na ang presidente ay si Hannibal Lecter.

Ayun, hanggang dun na lang ang masasabi ko. hehe.

Then kinabukasan nag-effort ako pumunta ng Makati just to watch Ang Babae sa Septic Tank. I am a Eugene Domingo fan eversince i saw her act on stage thru the play Welcome to Intelstar. Hitik sa talent ang babaeng ito. Kaya bilang fan, ay di ko pinalagpas na di ko mapapanood ang pelikulang ito helmed by no less than the Chris Martinez, well he wrote the screenplay and Marlon Rivera directed it.

Di ko na rin pinalagpas si Chris Martinez-- mula sa Here Comes the Bride down to Temptation Island tila baga wala siyang ginawang mali sa filmmaking niya. Pasok sa banga lahat! Panalo! Wala kang masasabing pelikulang tae na ginawa niya, so far. at di naman ako nagkamali sa Ang Babae sa Septic Tank.

Tungkol ito sa mga feelingerong indie na gusto gumawa ng makabuluhang pelikula daw about poverty para manalo abroad. Yun na. Satire ito sa indie scene ng Pilipinas. I guess malamang may mga ganito talagang mga tao at nakakatuwa lang na ayun, nasapul sila. hehe. It's like filming within a film-- the process, the problems, the ego and compromise these so called young and ambitious indie filmmakers go through. Pero may surprise-- Eugene Domingo and her talent. Ah basta, panoorin niyo to. You can never go wrong with the formidable pair up that is Eugene Domingo and Chris Martinez. Para silang patok na love team. Watch out too for the one and only septic tank scene.

Nostalgia in Saigon

2011-07-19T02:05:00.000-07:00

I've had a few phone photos taken during our trip. (di kasi dala ang malaking DSLR) and i noticed it's one of those photos that made our Ho Chi Minh trip interesting. Me and R stayed in one of those cheap hostels in the bustling touristy part of the metro--- along Bui Vien st. The street is busy with teeming hostels, food served on the side street, cheap beer, specialty shops about the Vietnam war, rows of tour offers, and recommended restos in the Lonely Planet guide. It's like the red light district of Makati minus the red light feel, you know the obvious whores plying about and city grime.

Now, this is the cheap beer that i'm talking about. Best enjoyed with travel talks from other travelling foreigners and at night while one the busy street of Bui Vien. But nothing beats San Miguel Pale pilsen for me. I'm that of an oldie when it comes to my beer. I don't like the taste of the light ones meant for the low-cal conscious. Red Horse naman is too much for me, i could get raped in that beer without me knowing. And then there's the smooth Tanduay Ice--cheap version of the Vodka cruiser but not cheap on the alcohol content. It packs a mean punch as you go.. then boom you're drunk as hell.

The Beer isn't exactly what took my breath away here, it's the coffee. I only drink coffee when i don't want to sleep on my deadline but the iced coffee here became my everyday liquid--not that i have impending work here (for which i am greatful!). Iced coffee here is the best And i don't know why i can't claim that on the ones in Starbucks.

Perhaps it's the way it is served that charms me, sometimes on a plastic cup with it's plastic straw. Raw and unpretentious sans the fancy shmancy of coffesshops. They call this drip coffee with condensed milk and is sold all over the place and just right off the street. They're not exactly instant where you put on a powder and creamer and voila! They still brew it in a fast way with an small coffee dripper. It feels authentic eh? Because it is. You don't go instant in Vietnam when they're the biggest producer of coffee beans around the world. I just love how bakya and masa coffee can be here.

This is where we usually eat. Al fresco and just along the sidelines of the street. You get a small table and chair and you have a mini-restaurant. The food is yummy and fresh with all the Pho bo and fresh veggie rolls strewn around the streets. They're a complete meal and are quite cheap ha.

I wish i could go back to Ho Chi Minh. Ang mura kasi plus i find it charming albeit a bit third world compared to mind blowing city that is HK. (Mind blowing was HK for me since it's my frst trip to a progressive country with actual discipline and cleanliness everywhere! Lalo na pag galing ka sa Manila.) Though i wouldn't miss out on the faster paced cities to visit but this one definitely has a hold in my heart and i would love to go back and explore more of it's hidden treasures.

Bulaklakin

2011-07-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

Mahilig ako sa bulaklak. Kahit natural, artificial, print o drawing pa yan basta gusto ko ng bulaklak. Nakaka-gaan ng loob at nakakaluwag ng damdamin kapag nakakakita ako nito.

Marami akong bulaklakin na damit at mga bagay na may print ng bulaklak. Kasi ang saya lang niya tignan di ba? Ito ang manifestation ng aking pagkababae.. ang obvious di ba? Kaya siguro flower ang tawag sa kep.

Pero hindi ako mahilig sa kulay pink. Pink flowers ay keri pero yung pink na color? Wit! Feeling ko nakakabawas ng spunk ang kulay na pink (no offense to pink lovers) that's just me saying. Nanghihina ako sa kulay na iyon. Kaya nga never ako naging si Pink 5 eh. Laging yellow 4.

Heniways, kagabi naisipan kong bumili ng bulaklak sa SM at i-arrange siya. Ayun katabi ko siya ngayon and i can't help but let out a genuine warm smile that simple things as flowers can have such poignant effect in my being... it's my way of warmth..like a warm bowl of champorado on a rainy morning... much like browsing thru the empty lanes of the card section to make me feel good. A visual reminder that life is indeed beautiful as i am looking at one beauty.

Distracted much

2011-07-12T03:05:00.000-07:00

May kailangan talaga akong gawin dahil may deadline siya pero heto ako'ty nagblo-blog. Kaasar lang di ba? Pero di naman ako naasar kasi di naman talaga ako naasar ng full blown... naiinis lang ang other responsible half of me that i should be doing this instead of that... yes, i'm that two faced. i can be an OC strung up bitch and be the exact opposite and right now the latter is taking over meeee!!! aahhhh!!!

These are my distractions:

1. Blogging. Shet. What exactly i'm doing right now.

2. Checking out the Cinemalaya schedule and the trailers. I want to watch Babae sa Septic Tank!!! Mahal ko si Eugene Domingo at si Chris Martinez. They're new reasons to go out and watch Pinoy films other than those cheesy forever love angled ones from Star Cinema. (hey, i watch Star Cinema too pero.. wala na bang iba?!!) Oh, i also want to watch the Nestle 100th anniversary short films, napaka-ganda daw at swak sa puso't kaluluwa.

3. Brushing our little ducky toothbrush holder dahil nanlilimahid na sa dumi. and i did that out of nowhere! Biglaan lang dahil feel ko lang linisan siya.

4. Picking out garapata on our dog Luna. Medyo time consuming ito dahil, medyo madami ang garapata niya. It might come off kadiri to some but hell no to me. I like making tiris all these garapatas. Especially the fat ones with all the doggy blood inside. Hell yeah!! Die you!

5. Checking Cebu Pacific flights. You know for cheap fares and for that spur of the moment idea---Let's go to Kota Kinabalu!

6. Checking out fashion blogs. at Twitter. Punyeta.

Ayun, bago ko pa maisip mag trim ng bermuda kailangan ko ata i-jolt ang sarili ko na--Hoy! May deadline ka teh! Gawin mo na yan, bago masira ang karir mo sa TV. Ayun lang naman.

My God, pa-morningan na naman ako nito.

ITO NA NAMAN AKO

2011-07-06T01:56:00.000-07:00

Hindi ko na naman ma-access ang blog ko na more than 6 years na.

Naiinis na ako actually sa splinder. Di man lang ako sinabihan na tatanggalin na ako sa mundo ng webspace o papahirapan ba niya ako sa pag-access ng account ko para makapagsulat ng aking 2 cents worth. Parang gago di ba? Wala man lang warningan? kahit chismis man lang.

Kung kailan ba naman ako sobrang kati mag blog at magsulat ng kung ano-anong mga kuro-kurong pumapasok sa utak ko saka pa niya ako bibigyan ng major let down. At tangina di ko pa maintindihan yung notice! Spanish kasi ang leche.

Heniways, dahil nagtampo na ako sa yo splinder. Siguro dito na ako marahil mamalagi sa aking back up blog na blogspot. Yehes naman!

Hindi kasi ako mahilig mag-update ng mga bagay bagay, paminsan kung ano na ang nakasanayan ko ay yun na. Gaya na lang ng phone. Di ko feel gumamit ng iba dahil sanay na ako sa phone ko (colored naman na siya hehehe). Feeling ko titirik ang utak ko sa sobrang technology dulot ng iphone at blackberry. Pero like ko na rin ang blackberry bilang twitter monger ako paminsan. di ko lang feel yung napaka-liit na keyboard. Parang parusa sa daliri.. but then again sanayan yan.

Gamit ko pa rin ang aking 5 years old na laptop. Nag-crash na siya ng isang beses at dinedma ako ng bongga pero nilagyan ko lang siya ng bagong OS at bagong skin para kunwari hip tignan at di mukhang luma. Well, na-realize ko na kasing tanda pala ng blog ko ang una kong laptop-- na siyang bumuhay sa akin ng maraming taon.

Kaya marahil ay loyal ako sa splinder bilang blog host ko pero look what it did to me...

Sayang yung luma kong blog. Nandun kasi lahat. As in lahat lahat. Dalaga pa lang ako nung ginawa ko yun at di pa uso ang mag blog. Hanggang sa mabuntis ako at mag-asawa, naka-limbag siya doon sa aking mumunting old timer na blog. Lahat ng pangarap, muni-muni, saloobin at mga hidden desires ay nandoon..

Gengkie the Newbie ang title ng original kong blog dahil doon ko itinatala ang lahat ng bagong bagay na nade-discover ko-- be it feelings, food, performances, new angsts and funny moments. Ang sarap kasi ng feeling ng bago... ng something new that would make your eyes wide open again. At ako, mas nai-popour down ko ang mga bagay kapag sinusulat. ewan ko. Bakit nga ba? Gusto ko rin ng nagbabasa ng mga blog ng mga tao-- yung heartfelt ones kahit mababaw lang. Plus points na rin kung maganda an pagkakasulat-- with all the searing and drama and flair of the print.

Siguro it's about time na lumisan na rin doon to start something new. Something fresh. and that's a new blog. and this is it, i guess... now how do i post photos here?!

A new leaf has turned...

2009-09-28T19:39:00.000-07:00

Yehey! Welcome to my new blog.

Hope things here get better.

This is purely my opinion bilang free country ito.

Kung ayaw mo sa akin, ok lang.
Kung ayaw mo sa mga sinusulat ko, ok lang din.
Kung gusto mo sirain ang buhay ko, babalik din sayo.
Kung gusto mo naman ako, salamat.

Kung may tanong, magtanong. Parang kati lang yan eh, kelangan kamutin.