Q Diaries #4

Hello dear! 7 months has passed since I plopped something here.  A lot has happened yet the world is still at a halt. Well, it is slow and uncertain in my side of the world-- third world with a crippled government. Hay. I will not go into details but if you're living below the minimum wage here, grace is what keeps you moving thru the tunnel.  It's the light that never goes out. I never thought I could turn that into something spiritual but yeah, I did.

 A little bit of life check. I turned 39 years old a few months back. I don't feel my age. I think I am still stuck with my mental age of 26.   I cut my hair twice to turn it into a pixie (the shortest I've had). I look at myself and most days I would wonder-- what if I was born lesbian? What kind of girlfriend would I go for?  These are thoughts that poke me randomly during recurring Manila lockdowns.

I have been doing a lot of exercises lately; yoga, strength training and jump ropes. It keeps me sane and keeps me wearing nicer clothes. As shallow as it may seem, clothes are what makes up the motivation for moving aside from health. I have bought some affordable clothes here and there just to give me a fleeting high of wearing it and knowing that I'll look good in it. It is not sustainable and economical but we all have ways to keep our minds afloat from the muck we wade through.  Or maybe I'm just a girl, standing in front of a Uniqlo skirt on sale, asking how it can save me from a quarantine.  I know. It can't always be this way so I am slowly transitioning to other ways, but for now this will do as long as I have enough to cover it.  

Fortunately, work is still here though not as toxic as it was pre pandemic. I have the luxury of time to go a bit farther from QC just to eat my favorite beef noodles. Work still feels uncertain but I try not to put it around my head that much. I hope things get better, and if a skirt or beef noodles make it so then by all means go. That rhyme made me shudder a bit.😛