Sound of Death
I'll try to write daily musings and shallow trivialities. It relaxes me, gives me some 'soul space' whatever that means... i just like to jot it down and do it freehand, then i title it with something that seems serious to compensate. hehe
Today one of my closest college friend was laid to rest. She's only 31 years old. She died at the height of every woman's most beautiful age. I guess she would have wanted that-- look good.
And my mind is turning since I've been writing fictional death scenes and harrowing experiences in a soap opera life, i'm used to it. The Great Hagulgol of the ones left behind to bear the misery. yeah, i relish it and even cry while writing it. I'm a sucker. But then i have never really really experienced an actual libing. As in the body being lowered down, especially from someone really close to me. It's vivid. I focus on the creaky sound of the thing which lowers the casket as it is being manually turned. Then i realized, that particular sound could be the saddest to hear. That sound of a some simple machine that lowers the casket six feet under.
How simple death is really. I focused on that sound and then my face suddenly felt warm. I started to well up because she has been reduced to that mundane, cold and lonely sound. Why can't it sound like a bird chirp? or even a Beethoven? Hay. But we will all be reduced to that sound. Unless you get a cremation which you will hear your own body cackle in fire. I'm thinking this as if in death you could hear but you couldn't get up and kick out from the casket. haha
For me, this is the second death of a dear friend whom i have yearned to reach out and spend time with. I'm glad it was a bright day and that she's in a better place now. After that, me and other buddies went out to eat, laugh about work and life, do some window shopping. And life still goes on... and i'm about to write the finale week of soap opera where my characters will eventually die to which the sound would be the soft click clack of a 5 year old keyboard laptop.
Today one of my closest college friend was laid to rest. She's only 31 years old. She died at the height of every woman's most beautiful age. I guess she would have wanted that-- look good.
And my mind is turning since I've been writing fictional death scenes and harrowing experiences in a soap opera life, i'm used to it. The Great Hagulgol of the ones left behind to bear the misery. yeah, i relish it and even cry while writing it. I'm a sucker. But then i have never really really experienced an actual libing. As in the body being lowered down, especially from someone really close to me. It's vivid. I focus on the creaky sound of the thing which lowers the casket as it is being manually turned. Then i realized, that particular sound could be the saddest to hear. That sound of a some simple machine that lowers the casket six feet under.
How simple death is really. I focused on that sound and then my face suddenly felt warm. I started to well up because she has been reduced to that mundane, cold and lonely sound. Why can't it sound like a bird chirp? or even a Beethoven? Hay. But we will all be reduced to that sound. Unless you get a cremation which you will hear your own body cackle in fire. I'm thinking this as if in death you could hear but you couldn't get up and kick out from the casket. haha
For me, this is the second death of a dear friend whom i have yearned to reach out and spend time with. I'm glad it was a bright day and that she's in a better place now. After that, me and other buddies went out to eat, laugh about work and life, do some window shopping. And life still goes on... and i'm about to write the finale week of soap opera where my characters will eventually die to which the sound would be the soft click clack of a 5 year old keyboard laptop.
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