Saturday, March 11, 2017

Saturday and Chicago


I was so tired last night. I felt like my bones gave up on me but my brain says fuck you all kaya sunod naman ang mga palamuning bones ko sa brain. Alam mo yun. I have stuff to finish pa kasi. I came in the cafe at 3pm on a Friday and I came out on a Saturday at 2am. Friday night just passed me by on a busy and hip T. Morato district. I told you i work like a horse when i'm writing. 178 pages of work to be exact. Juice colored.

So right now I am not going to do anything except to stare at my tummy and maybe fart a few times. That's my lazy shit self talking but I am here right now writing this. I had the time to watch Manchester by the Sea-- liked it but not that much. Liked it enough to want to see what happens next to Lee's life. Liked it that i was moved to tears but i would chuck it for Moana or Up in the Air.
Come to think of it, Lee's state of mind in that film is a bit of  what I am doing and feeling at the moment.

And then I suddenly thought of our Chicago trip. It feels good to walk in downtown Chicago. It feels like New York only sober and washed up? That's me the tourist who was there for only 6 days but that's the impression. I still love New York though.  CHicago's main city is interesting---  a river runs through the city  so it feels fresh amidst the bustling city proud buildings. The air is cool and everything looks nice but not too perky nice.  Gusto ko bumalik at maglakad lakad ulit.

from the architectural tour ferry

from the sea wharf, a view of the city

from the skydeck

This one is in Millenium Park where a bit of the Bean is peeking through. The Bean is a nice and relaxing piece of work really. Nakakatuwa siya. Ang sarap niyang tignan at makasama for a good 30 minutes.

Usually pag lumalabas ako ng bansa, mahilig lang ako maglakad or umupo at tumingin tingin. Pumunta punta ng museum at syempre kumain. Minsan observe observe at eavesdrop ng mga utaw na hindi katulad ko. Pero more on lakad at visual feelings ang habol ko. Feelings pa rin ang hari. More than anything gusto kong may maramdaman be it nega or whatever pero syempre di ba mas bet yung relaxing happy feelings.  Ayun lang naman. Wala akong maramdaman ngayon kundi ang creeping back pain and protruding puson. 

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Today in Hooray

Nothing biggie manay. I'm grinding on a Sunday. First few sequences of a TV script gets me really stumped that's why I'm stomping here in the meantime.

What's today in hooray?

I slept around 3am and woke up at around 9:30am. Nice 6 hours of sleep though a bit short to 8. At my age, especially when I have to write, i really need 8 hours to get my brain oiled up and about.

I did around 60 crunches in 3 different styles. Core and cuts for me. And some 25 jumping jacks to get my blood pumping. Not really good because it's a supot lazy kind of work out but hey not too bad either for some pagpag sa katawan. It will get better.

 And the best hooray is Starbucks giving me the correct spelling of my nickname. It's a big deal since I will be here until my eyes give out so I'm glad they got it right.


It's always with a G and not a J. I hate the letter J as the initial letter on my name but i love it on the words jelly, jade, juice and jargon. I abhor it when the J comes with an H right after.  Jheng? Jheng talaga? In Starbucks? They do that and it really gets me.  Anyway, enough with the hanash and back to work. I hope your days will have simple hoorays like these.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Early Summer in Liwliwa

Had a few free days at the start of the week, so we headed off to Zambales on a Monday. It's so groundbreaking going out of town on a Monday. I feel blessed and a bit privileged since i get to do this while everyone else is grinding for work. Don't get me wrong, i work like a horse on zombie mode most of the days (even Sundays/ holidays) but i just want to brag that I am going to the beach on a Monday because it's a feat! 

This is our second coming to Liwliwa in San Rafael, Zambales. It's a place I discovered because of lingering around Facebook and seeing a common friend being there every other week. The name of the place caught my fancy, Liwliwa, it sounds like a name i would have given my third child. It feels like a wild abandon of some sort. Liwliwa's name could be a kin of Filipino word liwaliw which means to wander. I love the vibe just by it's name and i'm not too disappointed when i got here the first time.  It's not a relatively unknown surf spot with the nice pine trees dotting the silver/ black sand. There are no proper hotels, just inns, kubo rentals and tent spots manned by very humble and kind local people. I just love people who live far away in Manila,  they're so nice, helpful and honest.  

facing the beach

pine trees

flowers crawling the sand
We came during a cold windy spell and around Valentine's day. A few checklists were in order, which is to fly a kite on the beach. No effort to do this because it  was really windy that time. My son here is feeling like a kite master, thanks to the Siberian winds. I love flying kites and i discovered a new philosophy about it or a hugot to it--- when the kite is about to go down you just have to pull it harder against strong winds and then it flies back up higher again.  It's so like life in the middle of struggle and hardships, pull pa more when you're about to break apart and you will soar higher. De ba mamst?

Another checklist is myself in a bikini amidst a dry spell in the exercise department. Mid 30's brings you so much blind confidence eh? But i do have to exercise to make it past 60. Here's my pwet in all it's 30-ish glory.The front part is still under repair and guidance but heck... who cares.

The tanning is in order but I'm worried about skin cancer. But then again, who cares. Ooops. i hope i don't sound irresponsible. Ah sunscreen and virgin coconut oil is best.

The Manila people come pouring in over at weekends. And sometimes i wish they just don't.Not that much, i guess. Because most people from the city destroy peaceful places like these. Irresponsible shitheads who think they're entitled to everything just because they're paying and having a good time.  Please, if you're coming here, don't litter, don't play too loud music that only your group can appreciate.

Sorry, I had kubo neighbors who blasts Pantera the whole afternoon as if it was the pulp summer slam, drinks, shouts and swear each other's mothers every thirty minutes like the motherfuckers that they are.  I don't mind the drinking but 'm a fucking mother here and a tita in the making. Let's get on some beach vibes. Don't kill the vibe my dears. These kids talaga.. kids daw o? or maybe it was valentine's day and they had to go through it? Don't care, don't kill the vibe.

Saturday, January 7, 2017


Dear Manay G,

I'm sorry i was lost in translation since August. I would have loved to expound on so many things here pero marami nang karibal ang blogging. There's Facebook for the essay type statuses with the gratifying likes/hearts/hahas, Instagram for the artsy photos with witty captions and side chika, IG story for the paandars that need not remain and Twitter for the sudden burst of emotions. Yes Manay, times are indeed a changin and thoughts are so quick to be thrown out in space you barely have enough time to ponder and really write it. But i still love it here, the spontaneous emotional diarrhea, dedma sa grammar and fist bumps kind of writing that i get to enjoy here. I feel legit kahit na alam kong parang wala namang nagbabasa nito hahaa.   

Ano nga ba nangyari the past months? Nothing groundbreaking really. September was a lull month since i had no official teleserye writing but i did some exercises, some lakwatsa. Actually, sa sobrang lull month niya para akong may selective amnesia ng September dahil wala ako matandaan. 

October was the exact opposite of September since i was in New York for the second time. Mas exciting, mas maraming ganap at unforgettable moments, mas masaya siya kaysa sa first time. I don't know, i felt like the first time i came there was the first date kaya magical pa then the second time was the second date at may nakikitang kang something different, something that you don't like but still want it. Hay, iba talaga ang New York. Nga pala, nakapag-Chicago kami and i loved Chicago. Sana makabalik ako doon.

November- December was busy since I started officially writing again. I was whacking the laptop up until January 1! Wheew! 

Right now, i still have to do some work and i squeezed in some time talaga just for this. Because i still write when i rest which beats the purpose of resting. OK na yun kaysa naman magbabad uli ako sa facebook, ma-agitate pa 'ko.  As usual, wala pa ring resolutions although meron akong promise sa sarili. I wish i can make it happen because sometimes, i get too excited and the burn wears off. Haysts. Mali yun eh.

Manay, I hope i make it better this year for myself and for other people. Ito talaga ang constant pain in the stomach ko, that i be of value to other people, paminsan kasi hindi eh. Pero may mga times na oo naman.  Harinawa!  But whatever comes, i hope i'll remain standing unscathed or not.Cheers to the new year!


Tuesday, August 30, 2016

After Maths

Buhay pa 'ko 'day.

After an excruciating month na ako rin naman ang nagpalala, heto pa naman ako. I'm still here and I've gained some weight as i look down upon my puson na mukhang may fetus na dalawang buwan.
I am eating properly again thank God.

I am trying to wire myself to exercise on my free days but the weather prohibits me from moving. Medyo glacial phase ako sa umaga dahil I want to savor my time na wala akong inaasahang email at labada paglabas ko ng kwarto. Bukod doon, tamad lang ako at gusto ko maging tamad pagkatapos ko magkandda ugaga sa kasipagan ng ilang buwan. I deserve to be tamad.

 I haven't checked much on facebook except for some bad news about my beloved Ninang Norma who passed away. She lived her life well as I've read in some articles of her in the papers. She was a doyenne of sorts to Filipino artists and painters, a staunch patron and consumer of local culture. My dad calls her a freedom fighter. My God, those adjectives and descriptions I've read of her makes me want to question my own life. Am I even near that? Nah, malayo pa. But at least I was near her and I'm glad to have known her, be influenced by her in some aspects of my life.

And then death becomes another event to ponder on life and what you've been doing. After a few months makakalimutan mo na naman ang great issues about LIFE and we get back to rat race again. We're back to being rats again. Beautiful hardworking rats.

But I did get a life before becoming a rat--

1. I actually finished a book. Salamat Lord. Most of the time, I start a book and abandon it in the middle because of labada. Then i forgot where I put it.

2. I put up an online shop of sorts. Nothing big like Zalora. I sorted out my stuff and i want to get rid of them all. I posted them on this app that's similar to Instagram only that it's for selling (Carousell). I am thrilled with getting good photos of my shoes and some other things i want to sell. I am even more thrilled when someone likes it and i get hearts on that certain product. Oo, ako na ang millenial at nakakakuha ako ng small thrills sa heart. Pero hindi naman nila binibili. Haists.

3. I went to Pandin Lake in Laguna with my parents, kids and husband. This is big deal.

4. I had my self checked by a doctor after more than a year. yeah, the executive kind since i felt a small pain on my chest a month ago. Maybe it's my heart breaking and my ego spattered out. 
And the pap smear, my gahd, para silang mga Stark, Winter is coming ang motto. Imagine cold steel up on your little lady down there and you hear the turnilyo or something creaking it open... and voila the cervix says hello to the world! Walang nagawa si Hodor sa pag hold the door ng aking pagkababae! Ayun, pinasok na tayo ng mga malalamig na white walkers! Saka umalis ng wala lang.

But on the bright sunny side, a guy doctor checked on my boobs, a handsome guy doctor at that. Hahaha. Bright side talaga! I love it. But i looked and acted serious as in librarian serious so as to hide my uneasiness and kilig (pota) when he begins to go over my hills. Ah, the hills are alive!!! Julie Andrews pasok!

5 My girl M is turning 8 and she looks better than ever, even if she has the wee bit remaining cancer cells she has to kick out of her. She's glorious. And that's a bigger deal.