Regular Programming

So from tonight til hopefully before the weekend this is going to be me, like my mug.

The mug was a gift from one of our artists on a drama soap. Well i don't really look like that in person. I don't wear black 3/4 sleeves especially with the sweltering heat and thank God my eyes are still ok. My posture is like that but i'm working on it. I have a window beside me just like in the picture but not a wall to face with. I would find it hard to write with a view like that-- a white wall. It's a blocking closed view. I wish i had a nice view like a mountain range or some greens or flowers.  But my view from my seat is like this.

Thats a door and a sofa. I don't have an office but i would love to. The view is ok because its 'open'. I just need some visual space. In the morning my kids stay there and watch cartoons and draw and sometimes fight over silly stuff. It still is a nice, cute and quite distracting view. I haven't tried writing in a coffee shop with a deadline to beat, i don't know if i can do that. But i did write on a bar table with a bar stool as seat in Boracay, i stayed up til 5am the following day, good thing the outcome was nice as per my boss but I don't want to do that again. Ugh, Boracay yun eh.

Writing at home has its perks but sometimes the kids are way too distracting. I have adapted. I don't mind the occasional shrieks but sometimes O can be really hard on me. He is a baby after all. I took this one while he was on one of his tantrums and just wanted to make gulo.

Yes, he lies on the floor with matching thumping and crying. But that is not an excuse not to deliver. So sometimes i work in the wee hours when all else are asleep and my only companion is a lone brave cockroach flying about. I'm ok with that, huwag lang siya dadapo sa akin. Tea keeps me up. It's my new coffee.

At the end of every labada or when taking a break comes a nice hug from my little girl. I can't get that at Starbucks so home it is for me.

Salbabida moment

I had this sort of break from work. The sked is very erratic so i took a chance to go out with the kids and take them somewhere they don't normally go. I took them to Batlag falls in Tanay.

Batlag Falls

 It is not really recommended for the maarte type and those who gawk at the sight of ka-jologsan. Sorry pero hindi siya dinevelop ng mga Ayala and being a public domain you kinda expect it to be that way--poor CR's and usual plastic litters and videoke. Videoke is not ok in a place filled with the sounds of gushing waters and mother Nature's moment. It ruins the au naturel mood, it frightens the birds and can make Maria Makiling rise up from a tree. Hay. Buti na lang malayo yung falls mismo dun sa medyo populated area kaya keri pa rin.  And it was not packed even on a Saturday.

Blue waters mean deep like 15ft.

The water falling from your head is just right, not too cold and very refreshing. Like being baptized and feeling new again. I can't explain how wonderful it is to feel that. I'm just after the aha moment and reliving the experience of seeing again a waterfalls. Because it brings back so many childhood memories of how our weekends are spent on mountains and taking ilog baths and massages on the waterfalls in all its purity sans the public. The whole ilog and waterfalls just for us--those are moments when i feel so blessed hence i am in deep prayer when i back float. Kailan kaya ulit mangyayari yun? I want the kids to have that experience because malls and manicured lawns can only do so much.

Now the salbabida moment came just now after looking at some pics moodrah took on her phone. There i was posing in my usual i don't care pin up pose fit for a mag cover with the water trickling down on me, the only problem is, it won't land on a cover. Not even a flyer for a save the earth advocacy. Because for the first time in the history of my confidence, i felt ashamed. Because i was fat. There. I said it. This is not a nega post. hahaha. Ngayon ko lang naisip na mataba na pala ako after seeing that. It's not something to be alarmed but i feel alarmed and... attacked. Attacked by my own self  for not noticing it when i see myself naked everyday. I never thought myself to be fat.

So what do i do now. God I'm almost 30 and i can't do magic anymore.

Yellow Flower Girl

Hindi debut ang unang ina-anticipate ng isang nanay na kagaya ko na may anak na babae. Ang unang stress moment sa tingin ko ay ang pagiging first time flower girl.

Then debut (the baby is now a lady moment).
Then the first mini-skirt party-party outfit (kaba-kabahan school of moodrah).
Then the first bikini (slight proud with cardiac arrest moment).
Then the first wedding dress (sniff-sniff, yes i am old na).

But siyempre bata pa si jugets at di pa keri magbilang hanggang 100 kaya dun muna tayo sa first time flower girl moments. Later na yung ibang sakit ng ulo.

So may gown na si M. Kulay dilaw dahil iyon ang motif ng aking kapatid na ikakasal. Dilaw na hindi hepa o jaundice ang dating pero parang royal yellow. Sabi ng lola niya bilhan daw siya ng yellow matching clips sa buhok at stockings na puti. Ok nako dun sa stockings na puti pero yung yellow clip? Kaloka. Ngayon lang ako napagod sa pagsho-shopping ng mga yellow cutesy stuff kasi WALANG YELLOW CUTESY STUFF!!  Well, meron naman pero hindi bongga. Yung pagtya-tyagaan mo lang kasi wala ka nang ibang choice. At hindi pa sila royal yellow! Ayoko namang mag-angry birds hair clip si M sa isang garden wedding. Bakit ang pink napaka-daming choices lalo na sa girl's accesories section? Nauumay nako sa kulay pink. Pink na lang ba talaga palagi ang bida?! Medyo true. Sa dahilang mas sikat si Pink 5 kesa kay Yellow 4. By the way, ako palagi ang Yellow 4 noong kabataan ko.

 So heto ang nai-scour kong yellow hair stuff for kids. 

Medyo hindi pako happy sa mga nabili ko kasi parang i know there is something better et voila! Meron nga!
Nakakita ako ng mga yellow craft flowers at nagpagawa na lang ako ng wreath. Pagkatapos kong bumili ng mga clips... ang bagsak ko sa wreath lang pala.

Mas apt naman ito for a flower girl. Ayan excited nako. Thank heavens for little girls in wreaths.

***
Naalala ko tuloy nung nag flower girl din ako. Gandang ganda talaga ako sa sarili ko. Wala akong konsepto ng pangit sa katawan o kahit sa mundo. Kulay mint green ang motif noon ng kasal ng tito ko. Empire cut ang gown na may mint green flowers with butterflies. Gown at garden in one kaya siguro feeling little Mother earth ako noon na oozing with prettiness. Ganun ata talaga pag batang babae lalo na pag first time mong mag-flower girl. I'm sure yun ang aura ni M once na makita niya na talaga ng sarili niya as a flower girl. Fresh, light, cute and postive ang peg. Makes me want to bottle that moment in perfume form and name it what else? --Flower Girl.

 

Skirt

I have a love affair with skirts. It dates back to my youth even as i spend summers dipping in rivers and lubluban ng kalabaw and cutting tall grasses on a mountain range. I had a very masculine childhood being with 4 boys back then but still a skirt i wore and a dress. And it carried on till now. I seldom wear pants and most of my pants have this palda feel to it. Denim jeans are a bit serious for me and i feel heavy wearing it.

I was the "T-shirt-palda-tsinelas girl" as opposed to the "tank top-jeans-Chucks" kinda girl during college.   When i first had work on a TV network, my producer is so irritated that i wear a skirt to tapings and at the office. Parang di daw ako nagtratrabaho. Yun nga ang point ko.. hagard na nga sa taping tapos magpapaka-heavy pako. Kasi pag naka-palda ako parang summer forever ang feeling ko-- nakaka good vibes. Iba naman yung work sa TV, i wear denims if i really have to make tuwad and climb up a ceiling... sakto lang naman. I wear soft jeans during remote tapings kasi naman ang hirap mag-palda sa Baseco compound na lahat ata ng lalake may laslas sa mga tyan nila. Swak lang naman ako sa pagka forever summer feel kung kinakailangan. I guess my boss back then found it so weird for me to wear a skirt when hindi naman ako artista, alila lang naman ako doon. Paki-alam ko sa kanya, inggit lang kasi di niya magawang mag-palda.

A dress is such a breeze, uncomplicated very easy to wear, no mixing and matching and just can be worn nicely with eyes closed. Too bad not a lot of women wear dresses and i adore women who casually wear a nice one on not so serious days like banking and queuing up for a lotto bet. When i was younger, my Mom always took me to accompany her sa palengke and there was this woman picking out tomatoes wearing a nice dress. I observed her, how effortless and peaceful she seemed behind the chaos and the smell of bagoong sa palengke. Kahit may streaks ng putik ang legs niya, dedma siya basta siya lang ang naka-dress doon. Dahil sa kanya kaya natuto ako pumili ng matinong kamatis. O di ba, a dress is understated and sexy with a hint of class especially if it's a nice one. I like women who wear it without much ado if she's fashion forward or not... the fact that she wears it means she has her own thing going and personal style.

So this is not about me.. hehe. It's Musa. She likes to wear dresses for everyday occasion. And the puffy ones at that kahit nasa bahay lang. She would refuse to wear her pambahay and insist on picking a nice sunday dress with flowers. Then she would twirl around and marvel how the skirt would make a small bubble of space around her.. such delight in a child. She would think she's an animal ballerina because of the zebra print . I think she's beautiful ballerina or not.

Hiram na Puso

Just got back from a press conference of our new show. We were asked to wear something red. I don't have reds except for 2 dresses that i hardly wear and which i bought for purposes of that. I'm excited for this show because:

1. It's an all out female drama with lots of heart wrenching situations. Yeah, i'm a sucker for drama.

2. No such kontrabida bound to make someone's life a living hell just bad situations lingering on good people. Unconventional yet traditional story for TV. I think moodrah will watch this.

3. Headed by one of my constant fave head writers whom i have learned a lot and will learn from more. From Jillian to Amaya and now Hiram na Puso.

4. An acting force via Gina Alajar and Ayen Laurel. I just love good acting and when they do it better than expected, you push yourself more to become a better writer.  I cringe and i feel so bad about bad acting... ugh. It's like bad tinola and bad aircon buses on a runny nose day. They just suck!

small snips of the poster.