31

By the way and i almost forgot... i turned 31 this month. I am nearing the wala na sa kalendaryo age. As much as i want to celebrate it in a grand way with a chosen bar, a reggae band blasting plus all my friends from tv, theatre and college combined--- i simply cannot. I'm preparing for something big this year and i need all the money i can get for it. I just wined and dined with three sets of loved ones. I love intimate dinners.

31 suddenly felt serious since for me, it felt like a first step to everything.  I'm beginning to feel some new rage inside of me. Something to make me surge, ya know? For one, recently, i bravely said NO to something that i would always have said YES to. What the heck. I said it to someone who doesn't look like he takes no for an answer hehe, so... i felt paranoid. Tama ba itong ginawa ko?  But i'm quite relieved since no more saying yes while anticipating the dread and stress of what's yet to come.

Another thing is that i've come back to embrace my tennis star self. I am slowly inching my way into it again. The first time i did it was almost a withdrawal syndrome, the first 15 minutes made my joints hurt while my arms and hips felt like it disengaged itself from my body... haaay. I only had 15 minutes of palo-palo and i'm through. I am outta here! Well, i think my body felt the shock of too much sitting around and writing. You see, I've been sedentary and i am not proud of it. I can't gym my way to fitness because i am easily bored. Though i like the jacuzzi part but that could be hazardous for me since i had slept in the heating room.

Earlier, i did play tennis again and voila i made the whole hour swiftly without the pain. I had sweat kissing both of my eyes every now and then. I looked in the mirror and i just love the whole flushed look on my cheeks. No cheek tint can beat that! Sometimes i do it for that too. Pain with vain---lethal!

Another thing i did is that i didn't get to finish what i wanted to finish this month. So it's not doing or simply trying without the goal. This is such a slacker since Master Yoda has always been strict about trying and doing as he aptly said " Do or do not. There is no try!"  Well... i am not graining to be a jedi, it's a personal project and i have always felt insecure about it since i am alone in this. I wish that i could get myself to finish it this year. Please Lord, give this to me. Make me do it, keep me inspired to actually finish it. Just give me the miracle of the big PUSH.

Apart from all that, 31 brought me feeling strongly about the upcoming elections. I don't even know why. Perhaps, i am tired, saddened yet hopeful. I am secretly trying to get some of my friends to register as a voter but i can't just breath around their necks all the time! As if by getting them to vote makes me feel like i've done something good? I don't know but it's not yet in fruition hahaha.  Well, at least this surge brought me to a certain NGO group whose thrust i have always believed in. I hope i can be approved to be a volunteer and i hope i would be given the time to commit to it. I do not have a hold to my sked really. I just want to do something since i can't rely on all these fucking politicians to actually do everything.

Those are the serious stuff i guess, the silly things that this age brought me is the love for online shopping and then the sudden lack of it. haha. It's a love--indifferent relationship going on. Oh, i'm also embracing this new color pallette on my lips--pinks and engine reds. Probably i might try to do some laser on my underams just so i can stop waxing. Laser on the underarms? Sounds serious and so much of a 31 year old thing. Well, on to more things serious and silly. One at a time or maybe not.